Monday Morning Memo: Another Life Detour

Warning:  today’s devotional…isn’t a devotional.  It’s another life update.  If you aren’t interested…that’s fine!  I just thought I would warn you before you get too far “in”…

 

A fact about me that some of you don’t know.  I’ve been coughing for over a year.  12 months. Over 365 days.  To say it has been frustrating…would be an understatement.

 

Last year I was diagnosed with various illnesses.  Sinus infection…bronchitis…different things which might explain why I was coughing…but after every round of antibiotics, the cough would return.  An x-ray was taken and it came back that my lungs were clear, which of course confused us.  So, my doctor decided in January to order a CT scan and lo and behold…double pneumonia was discovered.  

 

I then was given five rounds of antibiotics, with three of those rounds being double antibiotics, meaning two different drugs at the same time.  Each round helped, but within a week of ending it…the cough came back and once again…I felt miserable.

 

During this time, I also dealt with another symptom, which was times of having difficulty getting my breath.  Different positions of sitting or lying down on my back would make me struggle to open my airways, so I would have to find a position to open things up so I could take a full breath.  If you’ve ever had that happen, you know it isn’t a fun situation to be in.

 

Next, I was sent to a pulmonologist and he said we needed to do a bronchoscopy so samples could be taken to determine what exactly was in my lungs.  This procedure was done in March and we were shocked to find out that I didn’t just have pneumonia…I had MRSA pneumonia.  How I got this is still a mystery.  New medicines were prescribed which made me nauseous 24 hours a day.  It was brutal for two weeks, but if it worked, it would be worth it.  But once again…after I finished the medicine…symptoms returned.

 

A different medicine was then prescribed that again, made me feel better while I was taking it. Unfortunately, history repeated itself and the days of feeling better were short-lived.

 

A second CT scan was then taken and we were happy to receive the news that my left lung had finally cleared and we just had the right lung yet to treat.  I was then given another two rounds of the previous medicine…each round lasting two weeks.

 

A week ago today, while on that second round, I returned once again for another CT scan to see our progress.  Unfortunately, the results came back a few hours later saying that there was worsening of the mucus buildup in my airways.  At this point, I wasn’t sleeping well at all because I struggled to find a position where I could breathe easily.  Frustration was at an all-time high and I contacted the doctor to see what could be done.  He instructed me to get to the ER because I needed to be hospitalized to get to the bottom of my illness.

 

I sure hadn’t planned to be admitted to the hospital last week, but then again, life doesn’t always go as planned.  I returned home Thursday evening, and I wish I could say that all answers were found…but they weren’t.  Some things have been ruled out, they believe the MRSA is pretty much gone and we may have a possible working theory to explore concerning my airways…but we still feel like we are walking in the dark.  Our next step is pulmonary function testing which they hope will give us definitive answers and enable the doctor to put together a plan of action.

 

Oh, how I wish I could tell you that I have handled this life detour without complaining…but I can’t. I wish I could say that I haven’t gotten discouraged or frustrated…but my family will tell you that isn’t true.  There have been tears, anger and many days where my energy level has been pathetic.  Those who know me well, know that being slowed down isn’t something my personality accepts well…especially after just coming through the healing process of two Achilles tendon surgeries 

 

I’ve told friends that if God is trying to teach me something, I sure wish I would learn it!  What I do know is that He has been faithful.  He hasn’t left us…He isn’t wringing His hands wondering what is wrong in my body.  He already knows and in His timing…I’m sure we will find out.  In the meantime…we will work on trusting and depending on Him to walk with us every step of the way.

 

I’m not sharing all this with you today for sympathy, because I know that each of you also carry burdens which are heavy…so I am not alone.  I’m sharing this with you because I am very tired…mentally and physically.  As a result, I’ve decided to take a short break from writing my Monday Morning Memo.  At this point, my plan is to take off the rest of June and probably July and then will reevaluate at that time.  I just feel like I need some time to rest my mind and allow Him to refuel me.

 

Thank you all so much for your love and support.  I have received SO many encouraging words concerning my devotionals and each one has meant the world to me.  You all are such a blessing and I’ll be praying that the Lord will bless you with many warm, beautiful summer days to bask in His sunshine!

 

Until next time…remember…you are all LOVED!

Monday Morning Memo: Back to Basics 101

I happen to love the old hymns…AND the newer choruses.   I know this has been a “hot topic” in many churches over the years and unfortunately has split many congregations.  I believe they all have their place in our daily lives along with our time of corporate worship…and God can use both to speak to us as we worship Him.

 

One of my favorite hymns is “My Jesus I Love Thee”.  Let me share the words with you:

 

My Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine;
For Thee all the follies of sin I resign;
My gracious Redeemer, my Savior art Thou;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

I love Thee because Thou hast first loved me,
And purchased my pardon on Calvary’s tree;
I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

I’ll love Thee in life, I will love Thee in death,
And praise Thee as long as Thou lendest me breath;
And say when the death dew lies cold on my brow,
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

In mansions of glory and endless delight,
I’ll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright;
I’ll sing with the glittering crown on my brow,
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

 

Reading through these words made me conclude that we often make discipleship training too difficult.  As a result, we have many Christians going through life not having a clue as to what a truly devoted follower of Christ should look like.   To me this is tragic and very disturbing.  We have Christians who look no different than those who do not profess to have a relationship with Him.   They are attending the same movies, watching the same television shows, telling the same jokes, cheating on their spouse and backstabbing at work to move up the ladder.  With their mouth they acknowledge their Savior, but their actions don’t back up their words.

 

What we need to emphasize to followers of Christ is that their responsibility is to concentrate on their relationship with Him.  If the relationship is not where it should be, then fruit will not be seen in their life.   Now at this point you may be thinking, “Well duh, LuAnn, everybody knows that!”  Do they?  Do you?

 

Let me explain.  If we really believe the words to the song I included, then our walk should prove it.  If we truly love our Jesus and desire to turn all our sin over to Him, then that should be our guide as to how we live.  When we get up in the morning, if we truly love our Jesus, then there should be no place for mistreating our spouse or our children.  If we truly love our Jesus, then we should never desire to step on other people in our workplace just to obtain a higher status.  If we truly love our Jesus, then we should never desire to attend a function where we know Jesus would not approve.  If we truly love our Jesus, then the thought of cheating on our spouse should never be an option.  If we truly love our Jesus, our priorities and our schedule should be an outgrowth of our love for Him.

 

What we fail to realize is that the choices we make each day make it obvious to others what condition our relationship with Him is in.  No one has to be a rocket scientist to see whether we truly love our Jesus or not, just by listening to our words and watching our actions.   Not only does it show others whether or not we love Him, it also refutes all the excuses we can muster.  No longer can we blame our parents, our children, or our friends for our behavior, because they are not responsible for our relationship with our Jesus; only we are. 

 

I’m wondering if maybe Discipleship 101 could just be:  Love Jesus.  If we truly love Him, then how we live every day should be an outpouring of that love.  It really is as simple as that.

 

How much do you love Jesus today?  Maybe a better question would be, “Do others know how much you love your Jesus?”  If they don’t, then maybe you need to re-think your priorities and make some changes in your schedule this week.  When the right choices are made, we can then sing without reservation, “If ever I loved thee, my Jesus, ‘tis NOW.”

 

“If you love me, obey my commandments.”

John 14:15

Monday Morning Memo: Being the Church

This blog post won’t win me a popularity contest.  In fact, there may be some of my readers who will decide that checking my latest ramblings each week will need to be erased from their to-do list.  That’s ok.  I don’t write to be popular or to make people like me.  I write what God lays on my heart to share and sometimes that is easy…and sometimes it is not. 

 

Some things I am seeing in the Christian community trouble me.  I’m sure they aren’t anything new and I’m sure others have witnessed it too.  But I’m troubled by the fact that very few are willing to address what they are seeing because, heaven forbid, we just might step on some toes and well, that just isn’t done.  I’ve had my toes stepped on so many times they are often black and blue and while it doesn’t feel good at the time, it has been that pain which has often steered me back on the path which God has intended for me.

 

There just seems to be an overwhelming number of Christians who are being very vocal on condemning the church.  Many of these people have been hurt in the church and are now rallying the troops with others who have been hurt and as a result, have given up on the church.  They’ve sworn off ever darkening the door of any building because their needs weren’t being met, and they were treated in an ungodly way.

 

Do I believe they have been hurt?  I’m sure they have been.  Is that right?  Of course not.  No one should ever be hurt by his or her fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, but unfortunately it happens.  I’ve had it happen to me and the pain it caused was deep and agonizing.  And if I’m honest, I’m sure I have hurt others over the years and that is something of which I am not proud.

 

But does that give me the right to give up on the church?  I don’t think it does.  While it may cause me to leave a certain building and worship in another building, I don’t believe giving up on the church is an option.  For one thing, the four walls that may surround me and my brothers and sisters in Christ are not the church.  We are the church.  Each one of us who has accepted Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior are the church and to give up on those who make up God’s family is a travesty. 

 

No church is perfect, and I am the first to admit that fact.  Why?  Because no one who is part of the “church” is perfect.  We all make mistakes and at times, we all act in ways which aren’t pleasing to God and that’s why we all need grace.  But again, that doesn’t give us the right to give up, throw our hands in the air and decide that the “church” isn’t for us.

 

Unfortunately, I think the pandemic was a contributing factor to this “condition” and it has continued ever since.  For one thing, I’m afraid many decided during that time that they could just watch church at home…whenever it was convenient…instead of going to the actual building.  Now please, I understand that some have legitimate reasons for not being able to attend in person.  But, I believe there are many others who have had no real reason why they couldn’t attend…they just made the decision that it was easier to stay in their comfortable chair.

 

What must those who haven’t accepted Christ as their Savior think of our decision to throw the “church” under the bus?  Will it make them ever want to have anything to do with becoming a member of Christ’s family?  I’m afraid not.  People are watching and since all of us make up the “church”, I think we need to begin doing everything we can to be the church.   And that means our overwhelming desire needs to be to become a fully devoted follower of Christ who strives to look more and more like Him.

 

If you have read this far, I think I owe you a thank you.  This has not been a feel-good post, but one that I think is timely.  Friends, please believe me when I say that I’m not trying to cause more hurt on those of you who are already hurting.  My heart grieves for you.  I have been in your shoes, and I am SO thankful that I didn’t give up in my search to find a place where, fortunately, the people aren’t perfect. That is a good thing, because if they were, they wouldn’t accept me with all my faults and failures.  

 

If you have given up on the “church”, I urge you to give us another try.  If you haven’t totally given up on the “church” but have found it easier to stay in your recliner…I urge you to get up and come worship with us in person.  I think you just might be surprised at how much better you will feel after you have worshipped in person alongside your brothers and sisters. 

 

Let’s strive to make sure our focus is not on how we have been treated or on the actions of others.  Instead, let’s focus on being the child of God He wants us to be.  Then, and only then, will the “church” be alive and well and reaching those who need to know our Jesus.

 

“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”

Hebrews 10:23-25

A Childhood Memory

When I was a child, I used to love to use flowers to play a common game.  If there was a particular boy I liked, I would take the first petal off a flower and say, “He loves me” and then as the next petal hit the ground I would say, “He loves me not”.  This would continue until I got to the last remaining petal and if I saw that this petal would inform me that he didn’t love me, I would cheat and only pull half of the petal off to make sure I could say he loved me with the final half of a petal.  Yes, I probably should have gone to counseling for this 

 

Oh, the joys of being a child.  This was really nothing more than a wishing game; a game where I “wished” for a happy ending.  When I was young this was a harmless game of make believe.  I knew my wish wasn’t going to change anything or make someone love me and I really don’t think I expected anything more.

 

I think what is sad is the fact that many of us carry these same thoughts into our prayer life as adults.  Oh, we pray and ask God for this or that; but we consider our words to be more wishes than true, heartfelt requests.  

 

I used to have this tagline at the bottom of my emails, “If answered prayer surprises you, your praying may be more wishing than believing”.   How often do we pray, never really expecting God to answer?  Do we believe that our God is big enough to handle our requests or have we diminished God to be our size?  And, I wonder, are we so in tune with Him that our requests are what He would want to hear?

 

Too often I think our fears get in the way and we neglect to step out and be bold in our prayers, asking for those things which have been laid on our hearts.  I wonder what would happen this week if each of us would fervently pray and believe that God will answer us.  Not just throwing wishes up in the air, but heartfelt, specific prayers said to the One who is more powerful than any other. Our God is able.  Our God is powerful.  Our God is waiting for us to approach His throne.

 

I would love for you to join me in being intentional this week in praying and believing that He will answer.  Will He always give us the answer we are expecting?  Probably not.  But I am confident that as long as we trust Him…His answer will be exactly what we need.

 

“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. 

There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace

 to help us when we need it most.” 

Hebrews 4:16

Monday Morning Memo: More Than Knowledge

I’m going to share with you today a very deep, theological statement:  If I ate every day, the way I know I should eat, I would not struggle with my weight.  OK…maybe this statement wasn’t deep and maybe it wasn’t theological…but it sure is true!

 

My weight has nothing to do with my knowledge.  In other words, I can’t use the excuse that I don’t know what I should be eating as a reason for my extra pounds, because it wouldn’t be true.  I do know enough about carbs, fats, sodium, sugars and general nutrition to be able to make a healthy meal plan to follow.  So, my current weight is not a result of a lack of specific information, it’s a result of not using what I know to make the right, healthy choices.

 

You may be wondering what in the world inspired me to share with you this not-so-flattering tidbit of information about me.  Well, believe it or not, it came from a scripture I read.  It was one of those verses that just jumped off the page at me and hit me between the eyes and trust me, it wasn’t a good feeling.

 

The verse can be found in Romans 2:15 and I read it in the Living Bible translation.  It said, “After all, salvation is not given to those who know what to do, unless they do it.”  Ouch.  Even though I have accepted the Lord Jesus Christ into my life as my Lord and Savior…this verse was still painful.  Why?  Because it reminded me of the areas of my life where I have the head knowledge that I need to follow Christ, but my actions don’t always show it.  Just like knowing nutritional facts doesn’t make me healthier unless I incorporate them into my lifestyle, knowing Bible facts doesn’t do me any good unless I am living them out every day. 

 

Reading verse 16 didn’t leave me with a warm and fuzzy feeling either.  It said, “The day will surely come when at God’s command Jesus Christ will judge the secret lives of everyone, their inmost thoughts and motives; this is all part of God’s great plan which I proclaim.” Wow, I knew I should have read in Psalms that day instead.

 

These verses tell me what I already knew, but sure need to be reminded of often.  Living life today is not for my pleasure.  The decisions I make every day should not be made just to make sure I am comfortable and don’t ever have to suffer.  Christ doesn’t want me to follow Him only when it is convenient for me and doesn’t go against what the world is screaming at me.  Finally, the Bible wasn’t written with just “suggestions” on how I should be living; it is filled with commandments that I need to take seriously and follow day in and day out.

 

We are living in a time when it isn’t popular to go against what the world says is “normal”. Standing up for God’s Word as it is written, without just picking and choosing verses that make us feel better about our sin, isn’t accepted well either.  But that is what is commanded of us to do if we are going to be true, devoted followers of Christ.  We are called to be His servants, whether it makes us feel comfortable or not, and that is true when we are in public or in the “secret” confines of our home.

 

Let’s work this week on having more than knowledge, because it is important to live out what we know to be true, according to God’s commandments.  I’m guessing if we do, we just might have more self-control in all areas of our life…maybe even in our diet 

The Mother's Day Lens

I realized this past weekend that I look at Mother’s Day through two different lenses.  First, when I think of Mother’s Day, I immediately think of the mother with whom God blessed me. She was an amazing person who taught me so much about being a Godly woman. When I think of her, I don’t ponder on any of her negatives. I only dwell on all the positive qualities which she used to glorify God. I know she was human and had to have shortcomings like we all do, but I don’t spend any time trying to dredge up negative attributes.

 

The second lens that I look through permits me to see how blessed I am that God has allowed me to be the mother of three amazing children. I’m sure I could bore you for hours telling you how much they mean to me. But, I also realized this weekend that when I think of Mother’s Day through this lens, my thoughts quickly go to all the mistakes I have made as their mom. If I’m not careful, I can rapidly fall into that “what if” trap which I have written about before: what if I would have spent more time with them…what if I wouldn’t have lost my temper with them…what if I would have been more concerned about showing them my Jesus than getting my to-do list done…what if I wouldn’t have had so many health problems while they were growing up.

 

Let’s be honest. None of us are perfect and we have all made mistakes in our past. I think it is good for each of us to evaluate where we have been, ask for forgiveness where necessary, and work on improving those qualities of which we fall short, asking God to help us improve in those areas. Once we have done this however, we need to move on and not dwell on our shortcomings. They can paralyze us and hinder us from moving forward to do what God is calling us to do today. I can’t go back and re-do all those times where I fell short with my children, but I can make sure that I am showing them Jesus with how I am living today. Even though they are all grown and aren’t living under our roof, I know they are still watching. I think that is why my mom’s flaws don’t come to my mind because I don’t remember her dwelling on the past, rehashing her mistakes. She had learned to accept where she was, living fully for her Lord each and every day. What an amazing example to follow.

 

I Corinthians 15:58 from the Bible version The Message says, “With all this going for us, my dear, dear friends, stand your ground. And don’t hold back. Throw yourselves in the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort.”  As I read this verse, a bright lightbulb went on in my head. This is what is important that my children see me doing today. They don’t need me wasting my breath reliving the negatives of our past; they need to see me throwing myself in the work of the Master.  They need to see me willing to push myself way out of my comfort zone; tackling things that I know I can’t do without His intervention; focusing on those things which will make a difference in the light of eternity.

 

By the way, this way of living isn’t just for mothers. Anyone can be paralyzed by what has happened in their past and it is really easy to allow those things to become our excuse for not throwing ourselves into the work of the Master. I think in sort of a strange way, our past can become a “safe haven” where we enjoy dwelling because as long as we are there, we don’t have to move forward. Satan loves to keep us living in that cocoon which can feel good for a while, but eventually our spirit will begin to die and our life will begin to shrivel up.

 

I’m pretty sure when my kids reflect on their mom, they will probably remember some of the mistakes I made. But, if I can make the choice now to live completely sold out for my Savior, I’m hoping that will outshine the negatives. Allowing Him to shine through me every day, being confident that nothing I do for Him will be a waste of my time or effort, will hopefully influence many generations to come. Remember God doesn’t require perfection; only willingness to serve Him to the fullest today!

 

“With all this going for us, my dear, dear friends,

stand your ground.

And don’t hold back.

Throw yourselves in the work of the Master,

confident that nothing you do for him

is a waste of time or effort.”

I Corinthians 15:58

 

Monday Morning Memo: Life as a Dumb Ox

When I read scripture, I often read it in various versions of the Bible because I have found that sometimes one version will get through my thick skull easier than another.  This was true with Psalm 73:21-28.  While the verses were powerful in the first version, I then read them in The Message, and they really came to light and I knew they were written to me.  If you aren’t familiar with this Bible version, it is written in more modern, up-to-date language, which often makes it easier to understand.  In this version, it says: 

“When I was beleaguered and bitter,
    totally consumed by envy,
I was totally ignorant, a dumb ox
    in your very presence.
I’m still in your presence,
    but you’ve taken my hand.
You wisely and tenderly lead me,
    and then you bless me.

You’re all I want in heaven!
    You’re all I want on earth!
When my skin sags and my bones get brittle,
    God is rock-firm and faithful.
Look! Those who left you are falling apart!
    Deserters, they’ll never be heard from again.
But I’m in the very presence of God—
    oh, how refreshing it is!
I’ve made Lord God my home.
    God, I’m telling the world what you do!”

 

Do you know what my first thought was when I read these verses in The Message?  All I could think of was the fact that God loves me…even when I am a dumb ox!  It just blows my mind to think that God sent His Son to die for me even before I asked Him into my heart.  And now, even though I am a Christian, I still have times when I’m sure I look and act like a dumb ox.  There are even times when I can be, just like these verses state, beleaguered and bitter and totally consumed by envy.   But even in those moments, I am still in God’s presence, and He is patiently waiting for me to turn back to Him so He can continue to walk with me every step of the way.

 

He is all I need here on earth, and I can’t wait to spend eternity with Him.  It is so amazing to know that God never changes…even when this chaotic world swirls around me, God is my rock and will never leave me.  He never wavers…never loves me any less…or gives up on me.  And just like these verses state, even when my skin sags and my bones get more brittle, He is always faithful and firmly planted by my side.

 

Are you feeling all alone today?  Are you feeling like a dumb ox?  If you are, I want you to know that I’ve been there too. I’m so thrilled to be able to share with you that God is still right by your side, and He loves you right where you are today.   You and I can go to Him, with all our faults and failures, and He can make something so beautiful out of our lives.  No matter what you have done, He doesn’t love you any less and He wants to be the rock that you lean on every day.  Allow yourself to feel His presence in a new and powerful way because He can’t wait to wisely and tenderly lead and bless you!