Monday Morning Memo: Tattletales

I recently returned home from caring for three of my grandsons, ages 4, 7 & 8, for 2 ½ weeks.  I felt so blessed that I had this opportunity to make memories with them which I hope will last them a lifetime.  I have always said that I want to make sure my grandchildren have memories of spending time with me…quality time…that will be looked back on with a smile and a loving feeling.

I did learn some things over those days.  First of all…I quickly learned I’m not as young as I used to be.  Those boys have energy!   Way more energy than me.  They can run and run and run…and then run some more.  I made the comment to my husband that I should be able to take care of them because I raised three children and we all survived.  But then Dan reminded me that I wasn’t 63 when our kids were young…thanks dear…I guess I deserved that reminder 😊

I also learned just how much food three young, growing, active boys can eat.  I had forgotten how kids can eat a meal and before the dishes are cleaned up…they are asking what we are going to eat for the next meal.  Of course, they were always full of suggestions as to what I should fix for them and I might have spoiled them a little bit in making them what they wanted.  But isn’t that what grandmas do?

I was also surprised how easy it is for me to act like them.  Let me give you an example.  One day, the two oldest boys weren’t getting along.  It seemed like neither could do the right thing in the other’s eyes and I was constantly hearing them tattletale on the other one.  Of course, none of the problems were their fault…it was always their brother’s fault.  So, I decided we needed to have a pow-wow.

I sat them down and explained to them that their behavior needed to stop.  I told them that in life…they will never answer for the actions of their brother, they will only answer for how they act and react themselves.  I stated that I was done hearing the tattle-telling…that I wanted them to start taking ownership of their own actions and stop putting the blame on their brother.  Now, knowing their ages are seven and eight, I really doubted my words would have a huge impact…but you can’t blame a grandma for trying!

A couple days later, one of the boys came into the house and it was de-ja vu.  He immediately started telling me about what had just happened and how it was all his brother’s fault.  I just sat there listening and all of a sudden, he stopped…had the “lightbulb moment” look…and then said, “But I know I just need to worry about myself and not keep blaming my brother”.  Oh, this grandma’s heart melted.  Was it the last time this scenario of tattle-telling happened during my time with them?  No, it was not.  But I’m hoping that maybe they will hear my words sometimes in the days to come when they are tempted to complain.

Later that evening…I realized how often I behave just like my precious grandsons.  Something happens in my life, and I can quickly begin to blame everyone else.  I can easily behave in a manner where I take no responsibility for my part in the situation…tattle-telling on those whom I’m sure are responsible for my current circumstances.  It’s so much easier to point my finger at those around me, instead of realizing that I won’t answer for anyone else but myself and I am responsible for how I act and react.  OUCH.   I realized at that moment, that maybe I needed to get a hold of my own britches…sit myself down…and have the same pow-wow talk with me that I had with my grandsons.

How about you?  Do you need to have a talk with yourself like I did?  Are you currently blaming others for something that, if you are honest, is a result of how you acted or reacted?  Remember, we won’t answer for anyone else’s actions…just our own…so instead of tattle-telling on them to God and everyone else around us…maybe we need to take a seat and begin to look inside ourselves.  Maybe we need to take ownership of our own behavior and quit blaming everyone else for the situation in which we find ourselves.

The wonderful thing is that just like my love for my grandsons didn’t diminish even a smidgen because of their behavior that day…our Father’s love doesn’t diminish for us either when our actions aren’t ideal.  He lovingly guides us and corrects us and shows us how we can live to look more and more like Him.  And all the while He finds opportunities to even spoil us…because isn’t that what Father’s do?

^“For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. 

We will each receive whatever we deserve for the 

good or evil we have done in this earthly body.”

2 Corinthians 5:10

Monday Morning Memo: White Knuckles

“Give it all to Jesus”.  “Let Him have the steering wheel of your life”.  “Don’t worry…don’t fret…God’s in control”.  “Do not fear…do not be anxious”.  Yep, I’ve heard them all…I’ve said them all.  And while I believe these statements with my whole heart…believing them and actually living them out…are often two different things.

This happened to me just a few days ago.  There was something happening that had my stomach in knots.  I have to be honest…I wasn’t feeling peace.  I was worried…I was fretting…I was anxious.  I kept reciting Philippians 4:6, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”  Trust me…I at least had the “present your requests to God” part mastered!

Then it happened.  I was mindlessly perusing on my computer and suddenly the words to a very familiar hymn popped up: 

What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!
Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh, what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!

I read the words and took in a huge breath.  I was being hit right between my eyes because I realized, once again, that I was forfeiting peace and carrying pain which I didn’t need to carry.  Is it normal to be concerned?  You bet it is.  But when it actually makes me feel sick to my stomach and I can’t even function…I have made the choice to go beyond concern.  

Oh, when will I learn?  I immediately asked Jesus to forgive me for trying to orchestrate this situation on my own and asked Him to please take control of the “wheel” of my life once again.  I’m so thankful that He loves me unconditionally and is always working on chiseling those areas of my life which aren’t pleasing to Him and keep me from looking like Him.  When I fall short…He picks me up and cleanses me anew.  I sure don’t deserve it…but His grace covers me anyway.

What about you?  Are you struggling right now with something that you need to give to Jesus?  Instead of letting Him carry it for you…are your knuckles white from gripping it too tightly?  If so, I hope you will also have this tune playing in your mind, causing you to realize you are forfeiting peace and carrying pain which you don’t need to carry.  He is just waiting for you to hand it over and allow Him to take you in His arms and give you peace…even in the storm.  Don’t ever forget that we have a friend in Him and He loves us more than we can even imagine.

Are we weak and heavy-laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge—
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield thee,
Thou wilt find a solace there.

Monday Morning Memo: Rejected?

Let’s pretend I am a senior in high school, and I am an amazing athlete.  For those of you who know me well, you know that high school was a very long time ago and the thought of me being an amazing athlete at any stage of my life brings hysterical laughter.  But if you would, please allow me to live in this dream world for a moment.

I am not just an amazing athlete; I am the cream of the crop.  Colleges from all over the country are contacting me wanting me to come to their school and play for their team.   I’m getting offers for a free ride, for extra perks that are only offered to the best.  Everyone showers me with love and attention, and they will do just about anything to get me to select their campus.

I finally narrow my choices down and select my college of choice and a meeting is set for me to sign the all-important letter of intent.  I arrive at my destination and the room is filled with cameras from every TV station around, making sure this momentous occasion is captured on film for the world to see.  Right before my pen hits the paper though, I lean into the mic and make the following statement:

“I am honored to be here today and am really excited to play for this team.  But, before I set foot on this campus to live, I want you to know ahead of time that I am not going to follow through on any promises that I make.  I know this school has a no drinking policy, but I love to drink and I plan on getting plastered every chance I get.  In fact, I’m guessing I will be hung over so much that I won’t make it to most of my classes and I really doubt I will feel up to going to practices.  I also know that one of the rules is that guys can’t be in the girls’ dorm rooms after midnight, but I don’t care about that.  I’ll have as many guys as I want in my room for as long as I like and you can’t tell me any different.  I’ll run this school down to everyone I meet and backstabbing others will be a favorite pastime of mine.  It won’t matter to me how much you plan to do for me; my complete focus will be on me, my needs and my desires.”

By the time I finish my speech, the athletic director is squirming.  I’m not the person he thought I was and I’m definitely not someone he wants on the school’s team.  He then stands up, rips up my letter of intent and says, “Thanks, but no thanks.  You’re not who we thought you were, and we want no association with you.”  It’s interesting that up until this moment, they thought I was pretty amazing and probably about as perfect as they come…but in just a few minutes, their “picture” of me was shattered and their high hopes for my abilities were dashed.

In this pretend scenario, the school only cared about me for as long as they thought I was what they wanted for their sports team.  As long as I kept up my part of the bargain, everything was fine.  But when I showed my faults and failures, their “love” for me suddenly disappeared.

You are probably wondering about now where in the world I am going with all of this.  This illustration comes to my mind as I think about God’s love.  Did you know that He loved you and me before we were even born?  He even loved us before the world was created.  Ephesians 1:4 & 5 tells us, “Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.”

This just blows my mind to think that He has always loved me.  What really amazes me is that when He decided to love me…when he decided to adopt me into His family…he knew that I would fail Him.  He knew that I would have tons of faults and failures but that didn’t deter Him from loving me.

Nothing I have ever done has surprised Him.  Not once, when I acted against His teaching…when I chose to sin instead of listening to His leading…did He say, “Wow, if I would have known she was going to do that, I sure wouldn’t have said I would love her.  If I had realized that she wasn’t going to live up to my standards, I sure wouldn’t have sent my Son to die for her.  Thanks, but no thanks LuAnn.  You’re not who I thought you were, and I want no association with you.”  He knew…but He still loved.  There has been nothing that I have ever done…nothing that I will do today or in the future that will stop Him from loving me.  

The same is true for you.  God doesn’t look at the failures in your past and stamp “REJECTED” on your life.  He knew before the stars were put in place that you would disappoint Him with your actions, but that didn’t stop Him from loving you then or now.  He adopted you knowing full well that you wouldn’t be perfect; that you wouldn’t live a life free of sin.  His love for you was and continues to be limitless.

If you struggle with feeling worthy of His love, re-read the verses I shared in Ephesians.  Remind yourself that God loved you from the beginning, and His choosing to adopt you into His family brought Him great pleasure!

By the way, since we have a God who loves us that much, why in the world wouldn’t we desire to love Him?  Why wouldn’t we do all we could do to be a child who acts like Him and loves like Him?  No one else even comes close to deserving our praise and our obedience like He does.   I hope you feel like I do when I say that there is no other “team” I’d rather be on than His!

Monday Morning Memo: That's a Scary Thought 😳

Restless.  This isn’t a word that usually has a positive connotation.  Other words which can be used in place of it are uneasy, ill at ease, fidgety, edgy, on edge, tense, nervous, agitated, anxious, keyed up, apprehensive, unquiet, impatient, sleepless, wakeful, insomniac, fitful, broken, disturbed, troubled, unsettled, uncomfortable, watchful, worked up, tossing and turning.  None of these words paint a picture of something that is pleasant.

But there have been times in my life when some of these words describe how I feel because there are periods when my spirit just isn’t settled.  Times when I feel like God is preparing me for something new, but since I have no clue what that “new” is…I become restless.  And, unfortunately, during those times I often hear these words from God, “Not yet LuAnn.  Wait.” UGH.

How do you react when the Lord’s answer is “wait”?  Hopefully you are better than me because I wouldn’t win an award for waiting patiently.  I always feel like action is necessary to follow His will and so patiently waiting is just a huge waste of time.  I often feel like the Lord needs my help to get something accomplished and I’m probably mistaken about that.  He needs my obedience…He doesn’t really need my help.  But He does allow me the privilege of having a role in seeing something come to fruition…because He loves me that much.  

It’s similar to how it was when our children were growing up.  There were many tasks around the house which could be accomplished easier and much quicker if I just did them myself.  I didn’t need any help from them to get certain jobs done, but because I loved them and wanted a closer relationship with them, I would sometimes ask them to help me.  Those times brought us closer as we worked side by side to see our task completed.  It’s the same way with our Jesus.  He is more than capable of doing everything himself, but because He wants a closer relationship with us, He offers us opportunities to work side by side with Him.  What a privilege!

I once read these words, “We must be willing at every moment to surrender to His will. The Father is at work, through the Spirit, to bring the completed work of Christ to the world. He knows where workers are needed and sends them to these places. Even though it may seem that going there will lead to financial loss or greater family struggles, we are to rejoice because we have confidence in what the Father is doing. With all humility, we should accept the portion which God has prepared for us. Glorify His name by believing His promises for your spouse and children. No matter what happens, we can have complete confidence that the Father is directing our lives, and great joy can be found in submitting to His will. Nothing else will ever bring the true satisfaction that our souls are longing for” (from Appointed to Bear Fruit).

Yes, it comes down to surrendering to His will in every moment and I’m pretty sure that means every moment of waiting and feeling restless.  Maybe during this time, He has more pruning to do in me so that I am prepared for whatever lies ahead.  Ouch.  That’s a scary thought 😳

“But me, I’m not giving up.
I’m sticking around to see what God will do.
I’m waiting for God to make things right.
I’m counting on God to listen to me.”

Micah 7:7 (The Message)