I recently returned home from caring for three of my grandsons, ages 4, 7 & 8, for 2 ½ weeks. I felt so blessed that I had this opportunity to make memories with them which I hope will last them a lifetime. I have always said that I want to make sure my grandchildren have memories of spending time with me…quality time…that will be looked back on with a smile and a loving feeling.
I did learn some things over those days. First of all…I quickly learned I’m not as young as I used to be. Those boys have energy! Way more energy than me. They can run and run and run…and then run some more. I made the comment to my husband that I should be able to take care of them because I raised three children and we all survived. But then Dan reminded me that I wasn’t 63 when our kids were young…thanks dear…I guess I deserved that reminder 😊
I also learned just how much food three young, growing, active boys can eat. I had forgotten how kids can eat a meal and before the dishes are cleaned up…they are asking what we are going to eat for the next meal. Of course, they were always full of suggestions as to what I should fix for them and I might have spoiled them a little bit in making them what they wanted. But isn’t that what grandmas do?
I was also surprised how easy it is for me to act like them. Let me give you an example. One day, the two oldest boys weren’t getting along. It seemed like neither could do the right thing in the other’s eyes and I was constantly hearing them tattletale on the other one. Of course, none of the problems were their fault…it was always their brother’s fault. So, I decided we needed to have a pow-wow.
I sat them down and explained to them that their behavior needed to stop. I told them that in life…they will never answer for the actions of their brother, they will only answer for how they act and react themselves. I stated that I was done hearing the tattle-telling…that I wanted them to start taking ownership of their own actions and stop putting the blame on their brother. Now, knowing their ages are seven and eight, I really doubted my words would have a huge impact…but you can’t blame a grandma for trying!
A couple days later, one of the boys came into the house and it was de-ja vu. He immediately started telling me about what had just happened and how it was all his brother’s fault. I just sat there listening and all of a sudden, he stopped…had the “lightbulb moment” look…and then said, “But I know I just need to worry about myself and not keep blaming my brother”. Oh, this grandma’s heart melted. Was it the last time this scenario of tattle-telling happened during my time with them? No, it was not. But I’m hoping that maybe they will hear my words sometimes in the days to come when they are tempted to complain.
Later that evening…I realized how often I behave just like my precious grandsons. Something happens in my life, and I can quickly begin to blame everyone else. I can easily behave in a manner where I take no responsibility for my part in the situation…tattle-telling on those whom I’m sure are responsible for my current circumstances. It’s so much easier to point my finger at those around me, instead of realizing that I won’t answer for anyone else but myself and I am responsible for how I act and react. OUCH. I realized at that moment, that maybe I needed to get a hold of my own britches…sit myself down…and have the same pow-wow talk with me that I had with my grandsons.
How about you? Do you need to have a talk with yourself like I did? Are you currently blaming others for something that, if you are honest, is a result of how you acted or reacted? Remember, we won’t answer for anyone else’s actions…just our own…so instead of tattle-telling on them to God and everyone else around us…maybe we need to take a seat and begin to look inside ourselves. Maybe we need to take ownership of our own behavior and quit blaming everyone else for the situation in which we find ourselves.
The wonderful thing is that just like my love for my grandsons didn’t diminish even a smidgen because of their behavior that day…our Father’s love doesn’t diminish for us either when our actions aren’t ideal. He lovingly guides us and corrects us and shows us how we can live to look more and more like Him. And all the while He finds opportunities to even spoil us…because isn’t that what Father’s do?
“For we must all stand before Christ to be judged.
We will each receive whatever we deserve for the
good or evil we have done in this earthly body.”
2 Corinthians 5:10
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