Monday Morning Memo: A Diagnosis

As many of you know…I have been seeking a medical diagnosis for over a year for my lungs.  If you have no clue what I am talking about…please refer back to my blog post on June 16^th, 2025…where details are given of my situation.

 

Some of you have been asking for an update…so I thought I would share with you what we know as of today.  After being seen by several different doctors, I was finally sent to IU Med to see a critical care lung specialist.  Before this appointment, another CT scan was done to see how much improvement there had been in my lungs since that last scan in June.  The results were not what we wanted to hear.  There had been no improvement.  All the medicine I had been given had done nothing.  

 

We debated as to whether to go to IU Med or Cleveland Clinic and finally settled on IU Med because it is closer to our home.  But because our God is absolutely amazing, the doctor I was given did all his residency at Cleveland Clinic.  So, we got the best of both worlds from him.

 

He was very thorough and really studied everything that had been done for me over the past 15 months.  After asking many questions, he finally gave me the diagnosis of Focal Bronchiectasis.  If you research this diagnosis, you will find out that Bronchiectasis is when the walls of your bronchi, the tubes that carry air into and out of your lungs, become thickened and damaged.  They can fill up with mucus and infection, making it hard to breathe.  Bronchiectasis is a long-term (or chronic) disease that gets worse over time and causes permanent lung damage to the airways.

 

The specialist then told me that my timing for seeing him was really something, because he said up until the day before my appointment, there had never even been any treatment for this condition.  But, just 24 hours before sitting in his office, a drug was approved.  The medicine does not fix the permanent damage, but it is supposed to help clear out my airways, hopefully helping me to breathe much easier.

 

That was the good news.  But life wouldn’t be life unless there was also some not-so-good news.  Getting this brand-new medicine has proved to be rather difficult.  My understanding is that my pulmonologist will need to apply for me to get it and then of course, my insurance will have to approve it.  Current cost?  $88,000.00 a year…so roughly $7,000.00 - $8,000.00 a month.  So, it is imperative that my insurance covers it.  

 

I have also found out that if I am able to start on this medicine, it takes at least four months until any improvement is seen.  So, it will not be a quick fix.  But we at least have a diagnosis…and I am so very thankful.

 

I lead a prayer team for the Mid-North IN Area in the Great Lakes region for Operation Christmas Child, a division of Samaritan's Purse.  Our team selected a couple verses in Psalms to be ours for 2025 and they are as follows:

 

“Show me the right path, O Lord; 

point out the road for me to follow.

Lead me by your truth and teach me, 

for you are the God who saves me. 

All day long I put my hope in you.”

Psalm 25:4-5

 

Little did I know when we “adopted” these verses at the beginning of the year, how important they would become in my life.  I can’t tell you how many times I have asked the Lord to show us the right path.  To lead us and teach us during these days because we know that He is our only hope.  None of this is a surprise to Him and He has everything under control.

 

Are you also finding yourself in a time of waiting?  I know it isn’t easy, and frustration can quickly set-in.  But it is so important that we keep our eyes on the One who knows the right path.  He knows what road we should journey on and so we need to wait for Him to teach us what we need to know.  

 

HE is able to do the impossible.  HE is able to work miracles when we think there is no hope.  HE knows everything about our today, tomorrow and even the days and weeks that follow.  So, we will put our trust and hope in the One who is able 

Monday Morning Memo: Smile Makers :-)

There are quite a few things in life that just make me smile.  Of course, if I had to list them all…you would expect me to list my husband, kids, grandkids, friends…etc…and you would be right.  But the four that I am sharing with you today…don’t include any of those.  Refer to today’s picture and I’ll attempt to explain:

 

1.      I use plastic bags.  Yep, I said it and I’m not taking it back.  I know  they aren’t good for the environment, but I do wash them out and reuse them.  But the frustration involved in storing all the different size boxes and hunting each time for the exact one I wanted…was getting to me.  I had looked for a very long time for something to put all of them in, but most of them didn’t have the number of slots that I needed.  Well, walla!  Some months ago, I came across this one in my picture…and I can’t tell you the joy this gives me.  All organized and all in one place.  Can life get any better?

 

2.     Maybe it can with cheese.  I love cheese…but this past year I was getting really irritated with the store-bought, pre-grated cheese I was buying.  I don’t know if you have noticed…but it doesn’t melt!  So many anti-caking properties have been added to it, that it just sort of sits there on your pizza without truly melting.  So, I made the wild decision to start buying my cheese in more bulk form and grating it myself.  I then measure it out and use some of those wonderful plastic bags (being stored in my amazing organizer) and keep them in the freezer.  Oh, what satisfaction I get as I stand in my kitchen and grate the cheese by hand…knowing the wonderful goodness we will experience when the cheese melts.

 

3.     I made the decision at the beginning of this year to start milling my own flour.  Best decision ever.  In case you haven’t heard…flour you buy out of the grocery store is dead…no nutrients…and trust me, there are things in some flours you really don’t want to consume (think human hair and duck feathers…ewwwww).  So, I now buy wheat berries and oh what joy it gives me as I grind them up to make our bread.   And we are getting 40 out of 44 nutrients that we need each day when eating our homemade bread.  Life just keeps getting better and better…

 

4.     And of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t include my flowers that make me smile.  I love summer and what joy I receive from God’s creation.  To see all the flowers blooming in vibrant color…oh how I hate to think about winter coming…

 

Well now I’m sure all this information has been riveting for you as you’ve had to endure reading about some of the things that make me smile.  And you are probably wondering why in the world I am sharing all of this, and you may even think I’ve lost my rocker because of the things that I shared which make me smile.  Why?  Because you may not give a rip about any of these things that I listed.  You may possibly not care at all about plastic bag organizers, grated cheese, milling your own wheat berries and you may hate working outside with plants.  Guess what?  That’s ok!  You don’t have to like what I like because you are a unique child of the King and…gasp…we all don’t have to be alike 

 

Why do we spend SO much time in our life comparing ourselves to others?  Why do we waste time wishing we had what someone else has…whether it be a possession, a job, a family or anything else that we covet?  Why can’t we just be thankful for the things in our life that make us smile…and be thrilled that others have things that make them smile too.  

 

Friends, life is short and each of us are on our own journey.  If we spend our time watching others and wishing our life away…we will miss so many smiles in our own life.  So, let’s see if this coming week we can pay more attention to all those little things that God has blessed us with which make us smile…instead of staring at others wondering why they are smiling.

 

We were filled with laughter,
    and we sang for joy.
And the other nations said,
    “What amazing things the Lord has done for them.”
Yes, the Lord has done amazing things for us!
    What joy!

Psalm 126:2-3

 

Monday Morning Memo - Part 4 - Lilacs & Skunks

The last few weeks, we’ve been looking at Revelation 2:8-11 concerning going through times of hardship. This was the text from which I preached in July and it had such an impact on my life. We have specifically looked at the Christ-followers from Smyrna…who remained faithful even under the worst of circumstances. 

This has made us question how we measure up to these faithful Christians.  Very few of us have gone through the severe persecution that they did, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t had trials in our life.  All of us have faced different difficulties…what I have gone through has probably been entirely different than what you have faced…but that doesn’t diminish the pain and hurt that each of us have experienced.  But as I prepared for this sermon, I came across a statement that spoke volumes to me…and it is this: “How we endure hardships matters more than what hardships we endure”. 

You see, Jesus said that in this life we will have trouble.  And many of us can say AMEN to that, I’m sure.  Whatever the trouble – whether it’s illness or financial hardship or loss of loved one – we need to understand that how we endure matters more than what we endure.  We need to make sure that we aren’t people who let trouble come between us and our Lord.  Instead of moving away from God during times of difficulty, we need to make the effort to move closer to Him.  We need to keep our problems in perspective.  And we need to remember this – it’s when the pressure is on and times are tough that people are the most closely watching us.

It is so important for us to understand that how we endure hardship can greatly impact those around us positively or negatively.  We need to realize that how we handle hardship can either increase - or tragically decrease - our witness to the unsaved.  That may be one of the reasons God allows bad things to happen to Christians.  He knows that when Christians endure hardship well, others notice and their acceptance of the message of Christ dramatically increases. 

It's not some kind of fluke, that in proportion to the world’s population the church in Smyrna reached its greatest numbers during this period of persecution.  It happened that way because people were watching and what they were seeing – the faith, the unquenchable hope, the courage and the endurance of so many Christians while they were under attack – it all worked together to open doors for the good news about Jesus.

And friends, people are watching you and me today.  As they observe us in action, are they being influenced to open up their heart a little wider to receive Christ or are they being turned off to Jesus?

And most importantly, God is watching us.  I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the name Smyrna means Myrrh.  Myrrh was a sweet-smelling perfume that was not only worn by the living but was also used in first century embalming practices.  So, when the Christians in Smyrna were persecuted, their endurance rose up before God as something sweet and beautiful.  Can the same be said of me?  Can it be said of you?  

Think of the difference between the smell of lilacs and a skunk.  Which would you bring into your house and which would you want to keep out?

When the pressure is on and things get difficult…when you’re being unjustly pushed around and people you thought you could count on for support have turned on you and are squeezing the joy out of things, do you maintain a sweetness of spirit, like the Christians of Smyrna?  Or do you react to life’s hardships and respond to the crud others dump on you by raising a little stink of your own?  It’s pretty obvious isn’t it which kind of lifestyle others will gravitate to and desire to be like. 

“How we endure hardships matters more than what hardships we endure.”  This can be a hard concept to live out each day and I know it is something I personally struggle with.  But with God’s help, we need to make sure that no matter what life throws our way, we are showing Jesus through our actions and our reactions.  Because they are watching…and they need to see Jesus in us.

Monday Morning Memo: Enduring Hardships Part 3

As you know, in July I had the opportunity to speak on Revelation 2:8-11, and I found it both inspiring and convicting.  These verses give us a glimpse into the church in Smyrna and how their members were willing to give their all for Christ.  If you haven’t read the previous couple of blog posts, I recommend you do that so this post will make more sense.

 

Today we are looking at verse 10 where it says, “Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days.”

 

Do you think there is anyone who can honestly say that they don’t fear suffering?  None of us like to suffer and these people in Smyrna had already been through so much anguish and now the Lord is telling them not to fear what is to come, even though it is probably only going to get worse.  I’m sure that isn’t what they wanted to hear.

 

He refers here to suffering persecution for ten days and if you begin reading commentaries on what the ten days signifies…you are going to find several different ideas.  Some claim Jesus was talking about 10 – 24-hour days, which is probably what we would think of.  Some believe Jesus was prophetically referring to 10 Roman Emperors who would greatly persecute the church.  And there are others who believe the number 10 simply signifies intensity – kind of like when the doctor asks you on a scale of 1-10…how much does it hurt?  Doesn’t that drive you nuts?  I hate that pain scale.  If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been asked that question…I’d be a very wealthy woman.

 

But regardless of how well we understand the meaning wrapped up in the phrase “you will suffer persecution for ten days”, the fact that Jesus calls for the church at Smyrna to be faithful through them is clear.

In verse 11 then, Jesus says, “Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. The one who is victorious will not be hurt at all by the second death.”  The first death is physical death.  That’s inevitable.  We are all going to die at some point.  The second death is eternal separation from God…spiritual death.  The people of Smyrna remained true and obedient to their God…so they were promised eternity with Him instead of being cast into the lake of fire in hell.      

So, what can we learn from these Christians in Smyrna?  Fortunately, at least at this point, we are not facing the horrendous suffering they endured as a result of their faith.  Oh, I think we often think we are persecuted…but if we were to sit and swap stories with these brothers and sisters in Christ…I think our examples wouldn’t hold much weight compared to theirs.

But that doesn’t mean we don’t have trials in our life.  All of us face different difficulties…what I am going through is probably entirely different than what you are facing…but that doesn’t diminish the pain and hurt that each of us experience.  But as I prepared for this sermon, I came across a statement that spoke volumes to me and has impacted me more than anything else I’ve ever read and I can’t wait to share it with you.  Make sure you come back next week when I will reveal this statement that has impacted me so much.

But for now…I am asking, “Are you ready for the first death?”  We know death is inevitable for all of us…are you ready?  Our final day on this earth is inescapable…but the second death…spiritual death…IS avoidable.  If we haven’t accepted Christ as our Lord and Savior before we die…we will be separated from Christ for eternity.  But if we have made Him Lord and Savior of our life before we take our last breath…we will be just like the Christ-followers of Smyrna and won’t be hurt at all by the second death. 

By accepting Christ, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.  Don’t delay.  Just pray this prayer:

“Dear Jesus, I believe that you died on the cross for my sins, were resurrected and that you are alive and well today.  I believe you are the Son of God and that you deeply love me.  I confess that I am a sinner and I need you to forgive me and cleanse me from my sins.  I accept you as my Savior and want you to create a new and clean heart in me.  I now want to live every day for you, and I know that I will have eternal life with you because of what you did on Calvary’s cross for me.  Thank you, Jesus.  Amen.”

If you prayed this prayer today, make sure and let me or a close friend know.   We want to celebrate your decision with you!

Until next time…

Monday Morning Memo: Enduring Hardships Part 2

I recently had the opportunity to speak on Revelation 2:8-11, and I found it both inspiring and convicting.  These verses give us a glimpse into the church in Smyrna and how their members were willing to give their all for Christ.

 

Last week we looked at how the Christ followers in the Smyrna church were being persecuted…but never complained.  They were willing to give their all for their Jesus.  What an amazing example for us to follow.

 

This week we look at what Christ tells them in verse 9, “I know your afflictions and your poverty—yet you are rich!”  I love those first two words…I know.  He wants these followers to know that He sees them.  He sees their poverty.  He sees their intense suffering.  He knew how important it was for them to hear this from the One for whom they were giving their all.  

 

Let me ask you a question.  Do you always feel seen?  Are there times in your life where you are going through very difficult waters and you just wish someone would “see” you.  I’ve been there.  If I’m going to be honest with you…in the last couple years of my life I have had moments where I wondered if even the Lord was seeing what I was going through.  Deep down I knew He was…but it is so easy in our times of distress to feel overlooked or forgotten.  

 

That’s why it is so important that we, as brothers and sisters in Christ, are intentional in “seeing” those around us.  I can’t tell you how many times in the past 2 years, when I have felt like I was going down for the third time…and a brother or sister in Christ has either called me, texted me, even came to see me to let me know that they have seen what I was going through and they cared.  Friends, we need to be Jesus with skin on for those around us.  We may be the only Jesus some will ever see…and if we are too busy to really see others…they may never know the One who has endured so much for them.

 

And in this letter, Christ tells them that He sees the hardships they are facing…and then reminds them that even so…they are still rich!  He points their eyes heavenward…reminding them that they will be rewarded for their faithfulness.  He was reminding them that treasure is not to be stored on earth but in heaven…they had not lost their spiritual wealth and it’s important that we encourage each other with these words also.  My friends have been great at helping me keep my eyes looking up…even during the darkest days.

 

Notice too in these verses that the Lord doesn’t sugarcoat their circumstances and tell them that He is going to remove them from their suffering.  In fact…he seems to allude to the fact that it’s only going to get worse.  Now that must have been encouraging!  

 

He tells them that He knows about the slander of those who say they are Jews…but are actually a synagogue of Satan.  The rest of verse 9 says, “I know about the slander of those who say they are Jews and are not, but are a synagogue of Satan”.  The word used here in this context is BLASPHEMIA.  This word is usually associated with slander against God.  But in this setting, it refers to the slander that the ‘synagogue of Satan’ stirred against the Church.

 

The Emperor Nero had a follower by the name of Aliturus, whom he admired very much.  He also had another vile friendship with another man named Popaea.  Both of these men were Jews.  They used their contact with the Emperor to feed the slander against the early church.  It was because they were convicted of their sins that they fought and hated the early church so vigorously. 

 

The result was the Christian persecution the people were enduring.  But the Lord knew what they were going through, and he urged them to be faithful until death when they would be blessed with a crown.  The Greek word here is STEPHANOS, which describes the garland crown placed on the heads of athletes after winning a race.  (And, by the way, we won’t wear these crowns very long because we will lay them at the feet of Jesus in heaven).  Oh, what a day that will be!

 

This section of scripture made me ask myself, “How well am I “seeing” others?  As I go through my week, am I intentionally looking for those whom I can lift up…whom I can let know that they are being seen by me?  Or am I just too busy to be bothered?”  OUCH.

 

As we go throughout this coming week, let’s pay attention to those who God puts in our path. They may be feeling like they are going down for the third time…and are just praying that someone…anyone…cares.  Who knows what impact we can have by just “seeing” them and helping to lift their eyes heavenward.  Time is of the essence…and remember…if they don’t see Jesus in us…they may never see Him at all.

 

Until next week…

Monday Morning Memo: Enduring Hardships Part 1

As I shared last week, I recently had the opportunity to speak on Revelation 2:8-11, and I found it both inspiring and convicting.  These verses give us a glimpse into the church in Smyrna and how their members were willing to give their all for Christ.

 

Revelation 2 contains the letters that were written to four of the seven churches in Asia located in modern day Turkey.  The other three churches are addressed in Chapter 3.  John has some condemnation in his letters to five of those churches…telling them what would happen if they didn’t change some of their ways…but two of the churches received no criticism and those churches were in Smyrna and Philadelphia.

 

Verses 8-11 contain the Apostle John’s letter to the Smyrna church as he conveys what the Lord wants them to know.  I was curious as to what was happening at that time and why these Christ-followers weren’t criticized. Was it because everything was going swimmingly in their lives with no problems?  Hardly so. 

 

Revelation 2:8-11 says,

“To the angel of the church in Smyrna write:

These are the words of him who is the First and the Last, who died and came to life again. I know your afflictions and your poverty—yet you are rich! I know about the slander of those who say they are Jews and are not, but are a synagogue of Satan. Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you life as your victor’s crown.

Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. The one who is victorious will not be hurt at all by the second death.”

Smyrna was one of the most beautiful cities of its day.  Some historians even debate that Smyrna was the most elegant city that the Grecians ever built.  The city sloped down toward the sea and along the sides of the hill was a very large amphitheater where over twenty-thousand people could sit.  It was in this amphitheater that worship to Caesar took place. 

 

The problems began for the Christians who refused to worship Caesar.  They became marked men and were noted as traitors to the government.  To be a Christian during this time was to have your life in jeopardy every.single.day.  The tortures that were inflicted on Christians were almost unspeakable.  

 

Let me give you a peek into some of the things these Christians endured.  Some in the early church were placed in a rack which had chains.  Their hands and their feet were chained and every time the believer refused to deny the Lord, the chains were tightened to such an extent that they would be ripped from limb to limb.  Others were thrown to hungry lions. Some were covered with animal skins and tortured to death by wild dogs. Some would be covered with tar and set on fire as torches.   Others were literally cooked alive in boiling pots of hot oil.  Some would be burned at the stake.  

 

Not only were these Christians facing persecution, but they were also extremely poor.  Now, Smyrna was one of the richest cities in Ancient Rome, but these Christ followers had been reduced to being beggars.  Remember I said that they were marked people because they refused to worship Caesar, so as a result, they were deprived of the right to work.  No trade union would have them.  No business would hire them.  They were boycotted at every turn… so they lived in destitution.  

 

The pressure that this church was under was unimaginable.  However, it seems that they endured all of this without complaining.  How amazing is that?  It’s one thing to suffer because of our wrongful actions…but to suffer wrongfully and still have a good attitude…is an entirely different situation.  It takes it to a whole new level.  No wonder Jesus didn’t have condemnation for them in this letter.

 

This made me ask myself, “How am I at “suffering” for Christ?”  Fortunately, any suffering I might go through at this point, doesn’t hold a candle to what these brothers and sisters faced in Smyrna.  But regardless, when times arise when I endure pain because of my faith, do I go through it without complaining…or am I constantly whining and acting like a spoiled brat?

 

Another question that came to my mind was, “If I’m not going through suffering because of my faith in Christ…is that because no one can even tell I’m a follower of His?”   Because as long as I’m not looking any different than the unsaved…Satan has no reason to try and derail me.

 

I realize these are some “heavy” thoughts to start our week…but I believe that time is of the essence, and it is so important that we are giving everything we have to follow Christ.  Others are watching and if we aren’t showing them Jesus…who will?  

 

Let’s pay attention this week to see if we are prone to whine and complain on our journey with the Lord.  Can others even tell we are Christians…or do our actions and reactions look more like the world?  Others are watching and they need to see Jesus in us…or they may never see Him at all.

 

Until next week…

Monday Morning Memo: Only Because of God

It was a strange feeling.  I was having my quiet time with the Lord and He suddenly impressed a thought in my mind.  I sensed He was telling me that He was going to ask me to do something…and I shouldn’t immediately say “NO”.  I’ll be honest...that thought made me really nervous, because I wondered what He would ask of me, and would it be one of those “push me way out of my comfort zone” moments??  Time would tell.

 

But I didn’t have to wait long.  24 hours later I received a text from a pastor friend who wondered if I could preach for him on July 27th.  Of course, my first thought was “NO”…because as you know…my health has been a little shaky for quite some time…especially since I’ve struggled with coughing for 13 months.  So how in the world would I be able to preach?  It just wouldn’t be feasible and so I would have to text back and say “NO”.

 

Then…I remembered what the Lord impressed on me the day before.  Could this be what He was talking about?  Did He know me so well that He had to pre-warn me…because He knew what my immediate answer would be?  The timing seemed suspicious to me.  I decided I better not say “NO” right away, just in case, this was something I was to consider.

 

So, I asked the pastor if I could have 24 hours to give my answer and he was gracious and said that wouldn’t be a problem.  Over those hours…I prayed, prayed and prayed some more.  I asked a friend to pray with me.  When the time was up, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that my answer was to be “YES”.  I just had no clue how I would pull this off…unless the Lord intervened and healed me.

 

To complicate this situation, the pastor told me that they are doing a year-long series on the writings of John and so he needed me to preach on Revelation 2.  Revelation?  Seriously?  I can think of a lot more “fun” books in the Bible from which to write sermons.  So I, rather grudgingly, sat down and read through Revelation 2…and verses 8-11 jumped off the page at me.  The church of Smyrna was speaking to me…and I instantly knew why I had been asked to speak and why these particular verses were ones I was supposed to share.

 

Was I healed completely by July 27th?  No, I wasn’t.  In fact, as I attempted to sing along with the congregation during the time leading up to my sermon…I began to cough…which wasn’t a good sign.  I stopped singing and began praying what I had prayed since I had been asked.  I prayed that I would not cough at all and that I wouldn’t even get a “tickle” in my throat so my voice would be clear and strong.

 

The time came for me to share and as I stepped in front of the podium…a feeling of strength and power coursed through my body.  It’s hard to even explain.  It was as if something had been poured in and through me and when I began to speak, my voice was stronger than it had been in many, many months.  I was able to share what the Lord had laid on my heart…without any coughing at all and even without a “tickle” in my throat.  Only because of God.

 

Why am I sharing all of this with you?  Because I believe the Lord wants me to share with you, over the next few Mondays, what I learned these past weeks as I prepared for July 27th.  He spoke to me through the brothers and sisters from the Smyrna church.  How these amazing Christians endured hardships was inspiring and convicting…and maybe you need to learn from them too.

 

Has God asked you to do something and your immediate answer was “NO”?  If so, why not take this coming week and begin praying about your answer.  Ask someone to pray with you.  Make sure that your “NO”…wasn’t supposed to be a “YES”.  Because I’m here to tell you…if He calls you to a task you don’t think you can do…He is able to step in and take over and give whatever you need…exactly when you need it.  Yes, you can do it…only because of God.

 

By the way…to so many of my readers…thank you.  During these past six weeks, you have been amazing.  Many of you contacted me to check on me and to let me know that you were lifting me up in prayer.  Some of you sent scripture verses to encourage me and to help keep my focus on the Lord.  What an inspiration you were to me, and I just can’t thank you enough.  Overall, my health has improved some and we think we may have an idea for a diagnosis.  I will see a new specialist this month and see if he confirms it.

 

Again…should your “NO” be a “YES”?  Let’s pray about it this week and see where the Lord leads!

Monday Morning Memo: Another Life Detour

Warning:  today’s devotional…isn’t a devotional.  It’s another life update.  If you aren’t interested…that’s fine!  I just thought I would warn you before you get too far “in”…

 

A fact about me that some of you don’t know.  I’ve been coughing for over a year.  12 months. Over 365 days.  To say it has been frustrating…would be an understatement.

 

Last year I was diagnosed with various illnesses.  Sinus infection…bronchitis…different things which might explain why I was coughing…but after every round of antibiotics, the cough would return.  An x-ray was taken and it came back that my lungs were clear, which of course confused us.  So, my doctor decided in January to order a CT scan and lo and behold…double pneumonia was discovered.  

 

I then was given five rounds of antibiotics, with three of those rounds being double antibiotics, meaning two different drugs at the same time.  Each round helped, but within a week of ending it…the cough came back and once again…I felt miserable.

 

During this time, I also dealt with another symptom, which was times of having difficulty getting my breath.  Different positions of sitting or lying down on my back would make me struggle to open my airways, so I would have to find a position to open things up so I could take a full breath.  If you’ve ever had that happen, you know it isn’t a fun situation to be in.

 

Next, I was sent to a pulmonologist and he said we needed to do a bronchoscopy so samples could be taken to determine what exactly was in my lungs.  This procedure was done in March and we were shocked to find out that I didn’t just have pneumonia…I had MRSA pneumonia.  How I got this is still a mystery.  New medicines were prescribed which made me nauseous 24 hours a day.  It was brutal for two weeks, but if it worked, it would be worth it.  But once again…after I finished the medicine…symptoms returned.

 

A different medicine was then prescribed that again, made me feel better while I was taking it. Unfortunately, history repeated itself and the days of feeling better were short-lived.

 

A second CT scan was then taken and we were happy to receive the news that my left lung had finally cleared and we just had the right lung yet to treat.  I was then given another two rounds of the previous medicine…each round lasting two weeks.

 

A week ago today, while on that second round, I returned once again for another CT scan to see our progress.  Unfortunately, the results came back a few hours later saying that there was worsening of the mucus buildup in my airways.  At this point, I wasn’t sleeping well at all because I struggled to find a position where I could breathe easily.  Frustration was at an all-time high and I contacted the doctor to see what could be done.  He instructed me to get to the ER because I needed to be hospitalized to get to the bottom of my illness.

 

I sure hadn’t planned to be admitted to the hospital last week, but then again, life doesn’t always go as planned.  I returned home Thursday evening, and I wish I could say that all answers were found…but they weren’t.  Some things have been ruled out, they believe the MRSA is pretty much gone and we may have a possible working theory to explore concerning my airways…but we still feel like we are walking in the dark.  Our next step is pulmonary function testing which they hope will give us definitive answers and enable the doctor to put together a plan of action.

 

Oh, how I wish I could tell you that I have handled this life detour without complaining…but I can’t. I wish I could say that I haven’t gotten discouraged or frustrated…but my family will tell you that isn’t true.  There have been tears, anger and many days where my energy level has been pathetic.  Those who know me well, know that being slowed down isn’t something my personality accepts well…especially after just coming through the healing process of two Achilles tendon surgeries 

 

I’ve told friends that if God is trying to teach me something, I sure wish I would learn it!  What I do know is that He has been faithful.  He hasn’t left us…He isn’t wringing His hands wondering what is wrong in my body.  He already knows and in His timing…I’m sure we will find out.  In the meantime…we will work on trusting and depending on Him to walk with us every step of the way.

 

I’m not sharing all this with you today for sympathy, because I know that each of you also carry burdens which are heavy…so I am not alone.  I’m sharing this with you because I am very tired…mentally and physically.  As a result, I’ve decided to take a short break from writing my Monday Morning Memo.  At this point, my plan is to take off the rest of June and probably July and then will reevaluate at that time.  I just feel like I need some time to rest my mind and allow Him to refuel me.

 

Thank you all so much for your love and support.  I have received SO many encouraging words concerning my devotionals and each one has meant the world to me.  You all are such a blessing and I’ll be praying that the Lord will bless you with many warm, beautiful summer days to bask in His sunshine!

 

Until next time…remember…you are all LOVED!