Forty-four years. At times, it seems like just yesterday…but at other times, it’s hard to remember a time when we weren’t married. Yes, this past Friday, my husband and I celebrated 16,060 days of being Mr. & Mrs.
We have had some really good times over the years. Times of laughter…times of finishing each other’s sentences because we know each other so well…times when just a look is all that is needed to convey what we are thinking.
We have been so very blessed with three amazing children, their wonderful spouses and of course, our phenomenal eight grandchildren. We can attest to the fact that being a grandma and grandpa has been one of God’s greatest gifts to us.
Like all couples, when we shared our vows back on that beautiful fall day, we had no idea what all was in store for us. We committed to stay together in the good times and the bad…the times of wealth and the lean times…and in sickness and in health. Each of us meant those words with every part of our being…but we had no way of really knowing to what extent we would be tested in any of those areas. But I do remember Dan telling me from the beginning…the word “divorce” would not be in our vocabulary. Our commitment wasn’t just to each other, but also to the God that we served.
We ended up being tested in every area…but especially in the “sickness” part of our vows. I have been plagued with medical problems most of our marriage…which often made it hard trying to raise children and run the business we owned. I’m sure there were days when Dan wished he hadn’t made those promises to me on our wedding day…but he remained faithful…keeping his commitment to be by my side no matter the circumstances.
Today, we are in the stage of life that we looked forward to for years…retirement. But unfortunately, it doesn’t look exactly like we had planned either. We had hoped to spend these years doing some traveling, going on mission trips and of course, spending as much time as possible with our family. While we have been able to do some of those things, my health has greatly diminished our capabilities. While we know that God’s plan for us is always perfect, we have still had some difficult days accepting that His plan doesn’t always line up with what we envisioned.
I was thinking about all this recently and realizing how easy it is to focus on the negatives. It’s so easy to dwell on all the “what-ifs” and “if-onlys” and spend our days just existing, instead of asking God to lead us to things we can do, even with our limitations. The last few weeks I’ve been praying that He would do just that…give me a new ministry which I can do during this time of health restrictions. So far, He has given me snippets of direction and I’m excited to see what His entire plan looks like.
Maybe your life hasn’t played out exactly how you envisioned it to be either. Maybe the spouse you just knew God would bring you…never came. Maybe you always thought you’d have children…but that never happened. Maybe you were blessed with children…but they haven’t followed the path in life that you always thought they would. Maybe you also had wonderful plans for retirement…but you find yourself alone…because your spouse entered heaven’s gates much too early. Or maybe, like us, your health has taken front and center and greatly limited what you thought you would be doing.
There is a saying that I have shared before that says, “Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming – Wow, what a ride!” When I read this, it reminds me that God can still use us on our life journey, for HIS glory, no matter where we find ourselves. God doesn’t dwell on our limitations…but on HIS power. He doesn’t focus on our shortcomings…but on HIS capabilities…which are limitless. I believe He wants us to serve Him to the fullest until we take our last breath on earth. Because wouldn’t it be wonderful to someday stand before Him and have Him tell us, “You gave me your all. You didn’t hold anything back and you were my faithful servant. Wow, what a ride you had!”
