Monday Morning Memo: Social Pressures

Honestly, I don’t remember if I laughed out loud, shook my head or rolled my eyes.  Knowing me…I probably did all three.

 

I was watching a YouTube video of a couple who are “influencers”.  You know what I’m talking about.  A couple who makes a living by sharing their day to day lives on social media.  I often wonder why in the world I waste any moments of my day watching stuff like this…and after what I heard on this particular video…I really thought I had lost my marbles perusing the internet.

 

The wife of this couple had a birthday coming up and so her husband said he wanted to do a “little” something special for her.  He said he had decided to plan a quick trip somewhere as a surprise…just the two of them…no kids allowed.  She had no idea where they were going until they got to the airport and he broke the news to her that their quick, “little” trip was to Europe.  Yes, their thought that Europe would be considered something small made me shake my head…but her response is what really made me do all three things I mentioned earlier.  She said something to the effect of, “Oh, I’ve wanted to go there for my entire life!”  Why did that make me respond in the way I did?  She was only turning 25 on her birthday.  

 

I’m sorry…but having to wait until the ripe old age of 25 to be able to go to Europe…just doesn’t seem that long to me.  Maybe she had a fascination with Europe as a very young child and so it seemed like an eternity.  I will try and give her the benefit of the doubt.

 

Watching this video made me so thankful that we did not have to deal with social media when we were raising our family.  Why?  Because I can’t imagine the pressure that is felt by young families to keep up with the “Jones’s” in our present society.  For most young families in their 20’s, going to Europe for a little getaway wouldn’t be at all possible.  Feeding their family and paying their bills is taking every penny they have and even an evening out for dinner without the kids can be impossible.

 

I can’t imagine the pressure and strain that social media puts on young families.  I’ve heard young wives share how they sure wish they could afford to go on trips.  They wish they could go on fun, extravagant excursions for Spring break, Fall break and Christmas break.  They see perfect, well-staged family pictures plastered on social media of those who are making those kinds of expeditions…and it can easily make them feel “less” or a failure as a parent. 

 

Please hear me on this…I’m not saying that couples and families shouldn’t go on vacations if it is in their budget…but my heart goes out to those who feel the pressure to try and keep up with those who do.  I want them to know that their children will be just fine if their break from school is spent in the same city they live in.  Their psyche won’t be traumatized…they will be just fine.  Having a secure, stable family life is much more important in their development than being able to travel the world.  

 

When we were raising our family, we owned a business that kept us from travelling during breaks from school and I remember at times feeling guilty.  The kids would talk about their friends going here and there and I would wonder what all my kids were missing out on.  To add to the equation…not only could our kids not be gone during those breaks…they had to work for our business on some of their days off!  But do you know what?  They came through those years just fine.  All three of our kids grew up to be responsible, wonderful human beings and I never hear them say how much better their life would be if they just would have been able to travel more as a child.  

 

If I can share some advice.  Love your spouse.  Love your children.  Create a safe haven in your home for everyone to thrive and grow in.  Don’t dwell on what you can’t do or have…instead, dwell on the blessings you have been given.  If you feel the pressure building on your shoulders…you may want to stay off social media.  Will you make mistakes as parents?  Yep, you will.  We made lots of mistakes and I wish I could go back and undo some of the things we did.  But as I said, God was so faithful in shielding our children from experiencing long lasting ill effects from our errors and what a joy it is to now watch them with their families. 

 

So, if your life today doesn’t look like the influencers on social media…please don’t dwell on that. You may be surprised to know their lives probably aren’t as perfect as they seem.  Remember, most of them don’t share all the bad days with their audience…they just publish the highlights.  If envy and jealousy is affecting your days after watching their reels…please turn them off.  Again, focus on the blessings God has given you and trust Him to give you what you need.  And then remember that your kids will be just fine if they have a staycation for their next break 

^“Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night.”

Deuteronomy 6:6-7

The Message 

Monday Morning Memo: Willing to Obey

I shared with you recently that I started milling my own wheat in January and it was one of the best decisions I have made.  I thoroughly enjoy the entire process.  There is something very therapeutic to me to start with wheat berries and in just a short time, I turn it into healthy flour.  I then use that flour to make our bread, rolls etc.

 

So, when I began praying a few weeks ago that the Lord would direct me to a new ministry which I can do during this time of health detours, the making of bread came to mind.  Every time I have prayed, I have felt Him saying that He is going to use this new found venture for His glory.  I still don’t have all the details yet of His plan…but I’m trusting Him to lead me every step of the way.  I’ve asked Him to just give me whatever feelings I need, to know how I am to proceed.

 

But of course, that means I have to be listening and then willing to obey   I woke up this past Wednesday morning, and I felt the Lord directing me to make four loaves of bread that day…one for each couple in our small group.  We were meeting that evening, so the timing would be perfect.  I wish I could tell you that I immediately said YES…but I didn’t and I’m not even sure why…other than I thought my plans were more important for that day.  So, I proposed a compromise, telling Him I would do it in two weeks, when our small group meets the next time.

 

I then sat down for my morning devotions and read the scripture for that day.  Nothing really jumped off the page at me, so I figured He was ok with me procrastinating on the bread-making.  Then, I picked up a book I’m reading on prayer, and it wasn’t long until I laughed out loud.  Can you guess what story was in my reading that day?  Yep, it talked about Elijah being in Zarephath and encountering a widow.  She was gathering sticks to prepare a final meal for herself and her son, demonstrating the desperate situation they were in.  The writer in the book pointed out that Elijah didn’t tell the widow to pray; he told her to bake a loaf of bread with her last batch of dough.  In other words…he asked her to take action…just like the Lord was telling me to take action too.  The time was now to obey.

 

I went to work making the loaves of bread that morning and for the first time since January…none of the loaves turned out.  I’ve had failures in my journey to learn how to make bread with fresh milled flour (trust me, it is different than using flour from the grocery store)…but I had never had four loaves all fail at the same time.  By then it was 12:45 pm, and because the particular recipe I had used took five different kinds of grain…I knew I didn’t have time to remake them before we had to leave for our group.

 

But yet, I still felt the Lord asking me how willing I was to follow His plan.  I took a few moments to regroup…and I soon realized if I used a different recipe that took less time to prepare, I could get all four loaves done before evening.  And that’s exactly what I did.

 

Fast forward 24 hours later, and we attended a fundraising banquet which had a silent auction as part of the evening.  I had not checked out any of the items before going, so we walked over to peruse the tables to see if there was anything of which we wanted to bid.  About halfway through, there was a beautiful basket with three kitchen towels, two loaves of sourdough bread, three bagels and the item which just thrilled me to pieces…the book I have pictured today.  To someone who loves to bake bread, a book entitled, “Big Book of Bread” filled with 464 pages of recipes, along with tips and tricks for making the best bread…was like a treasure.  I immediately put my bid in…thinking there was no way I would get it for that amount…but I had to try. 

 

Much to my surprise…I got the basket!  I was so happy.  To be honest, I couldn’t help but picture the Lord smiling down on me…blessing me with this unexpected “gift”.  And, I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe this happened because of my obedience 24 hours earlier in making the loaves of bread. 

 

It also made me wonder how many blessings I miss out on, because I’m not willing to obey.  I often think my plans are more important than His and so I ignore His leading or procrastinate and compromise and then never get around to doing what He asks.  Did He have blessings that He wanted to give me that I never saw…because I wasn’t willing to obey?  I may never know this side of heaven…

 

I still have no clue how the Lord wants to use my love for baking bread as a ministry…but I do know that He is willing to patiently lead me one step at a time.  I know I need to be willing to obey the smaller tasks that He asks of me…before He will fill me in with the bigger details.  Hopefully I will be listening…and then wholeheartedly willing to obey.

 

“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ 

and not do what I tell you?”

Luke 6:46

Monday Morning Memo: Wow...What a Ride!

Forty-four years.  At times, it seems like just yesterday…but at other times, it’s hard to remember a time when we weren’t married.  Yes, this past Friday, my husband and I celebrated 16,060 days of being Mr. & Mrs.

 

We have had some really good times over the years.  Times of laughter…times of finishing each other’s sentences because we know each other so well…times when just a look is all that is needed to convey what we are thinking.  

 

We have been so very blessed with three amazing children, their wonderful spouses and of course, our phenomenal eight grandchildren.  We can attest to the fact that being a grandma and grandpa has been one of God’s greatest gifts to us. 

 

Like all couples, when we shared our vows back on that beautiful fall day, we had no idea what all was in store for us.  We committed to stay together in the good times and the bad…the times of wealth and the lean times…and in sickness and in health.  Each of us meant those words with every part of our being…but we had no way of really knowing to what extent we would be tested in any of those areas.  But I do remember Dan telling me from the beginning…the word “divorce” would not be in our vocabulary.  Our commitment wasn’t just to each other, but also to the God that we served.

 

We ended up being tested in every area…but especially in the “sickness” part of our vows.  I have been plagued with medical problems most of our marriage…which often made it hard trying to raise children and run the business we owned.  I’m sure there were days when Dan wished he hadn’t made those promises to me on our wedding day…but he remained faithful…keeping his commitment to be by my side no matter the circumstances.

 

Today, we are in the stage of life that we looked forward to for years…retirement.  But unfortunately, it doesn’t look exactly like we had planned either.  We had hoped to spend these years doing some traveling, going on mission trips and of course, spending as much time as possible with our family.  While we have been able to do some of those things, my health has greatly diminished our capabilities.  While we know that God’s plan for us is always perfect, we have still had some difficult days accepting that His plan doesn’t always line up with what we envisioned.

 

I was thinking about all this recently and realizing how easy it is to focus on the negatives.  It’s so easy to dwell on all the “what-ifs” and “if-onlys” and spend our days just existing, instead of asking God to lead us to things we can do, even with our limitations.  The last few weeks I’ve been praying that He would do just that…give me a new ministry which I can do during this time of health restrictions.  So far, He has given me snippets of direction and I’m excited to see what His entire plan looks like.

Maybe your life hasn’t played out exactly how you envisioned it to be either.  Maybe the spouse you just knew God would bring you…never came.  Maybe you always thought you’d have children…but that never happened.  Maybe you were blessed with children…but they haven’t followed the path in life that you always thought they would.  Maybe you also had wonderful plans for retirement…but you find yourself alone…because your spouse entered heaven’s gates much too early.  Or maybe, like us, your health has taken front and center and greatly limited what you thought you would be doing.

There is a saying that I have shared before that says, “Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming – Wow, what a ride!”  When I read this, it reminds me that God can still use us on our life journey, for HIS glory, no matter where we find ourselves.  God doesn’t dwell on our limitations…but on HIS power.  He doesn’t focus on our shortcomings…but on HIS capabilities…which are limitless.  I believe He wants us to serve Him to the fullest until we take our last breath on earth.  Because wouldn’t it be wonderful to someday stand before Him and have Him tell us, “You gave me your all.  You didn’t hold anything back and you were my faithful servant.  Wow, what a ride you had!”