Monday Morning Memo: Slapped in the Face

Oh, it was hard not to laugh.  I knew I would just make him more upset if I even smiled…but it took everything within me to keep a straight face.

Zeke, our three-year-old grandson, had come running…crying.  Through his wailing, he told me that Eli, his five-year-old brother, had slapped him in the mouth.  Of course, as he told me this, Zeke slapped himself in the mouth to demonstrate what had taken place.  It became comical when he kept showing me over and over again how he had been hit and he was slapping himself with quite a bit of force.  Even when I told him that he didn’t have to keep showing me, he said, “Grandma, but this is what he did!”  

Eli was called into the room and he admitted his transgression and apologized.  All was well once again and they ran off and resumed their play.  But I’m guessing that Zeke’s mouth stung for awhile…not because of the initial incident… but because of the continual demonstration that occurred afterwards!

We laugh at this, but how often do we do something similar to ourselves?  Life can be painful and it probably isn’t real uncommon that someone hurts us with their words or actions.  The pain from those times is real and I’m not trying to diminish the effects that it can have on us.  But, if we are honest, I’m guessing there are times that we continue to bring it up over and over again…reliving the pain which in turns just makes it more anguishing for us.  Even after there is an apology, it is so easy for us to just keep mulling it over and over again, until it consumes are entire day.

Forgiveness is such a hard thing to live out.  Oh, we say we have forgiven someone, but actually demonstrating that forgiveness is often very difficult.  I think we feel like the other person needs to suffer for their actions and so if we continually harp on it…they will endure the pain they deserve. We want to scream out to anyone that will listen, “But this is what he or she did to me!”

There are also the times when the other person never apologizes.  Never admits any wrongdoing.  Never comes to say they are sorry.  Those times are difficult, and it is so easy to allow their transgressions to make our life miserable.  We feel that releasing this pain will somehow let them “off the hook”, so we grasp it with clenched fists to hurt them, but all it does is hurt us.  

I know that some of you have been through horrible events over the years and my heart grieves for you.  You have had to endure more than your fair share of pain and hurt and you have been “slapped in the face” figuratively and maybe even literally.  Getting past the anguish and moving on is so difficult. But I want to urge you today to take inventory of your thoughts and actions to see if maybe some of the things you are holding onto, as a result of this pain, need to be turned over to Jesus.  Maybe instead of living it over and over again, you need to let Him take over and fill you to the brim with His peace.

Remember, giving it to Jesus doesn’t mean that what the other person did was right.  It isn’t justifying their actions.  It is you realizing that you won’t answer for anyone else, you will only answer for your response and your actions.  Jesus is waiting for you to trust Him completely with your past, present and future, but to do so you will have to let go.  Let Him have your pain and hurt today and allow Him to fill you anew with His Spirit.

I realize that sometimes it is even hard to know how to pray in this situation, so I’m sharing this Prayer of Forgiveness.  Use it today and make the choice to give it all to Jesus.  It won’t be easy…but it will be worth it!

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

Ephesians 4:31-32

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. 

And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. 

So don’t be troubled or afraid.”

John 14:27

Monday Morning Memo: Betty Crocker

When I married Dan almost 38 years ago, I had no idea what all I was getting myself into. I was fairly young (21), probably a little naive and just knew that I loved this man and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.  What I didn’t realize at the time, but soon figured out was, I had married the son of Betty Crocker.

Oh, I knew his mom was an amazing cook…I had already been blessed to sit at her table various times.  But it wasn’t until after we married that I really understood how much she deserved the title of Betty Crocker.  This woman was (and still is) amazing!  She never served a vegetable she didn’t grow herself.  She was a master at frying chicken that was raised, killed and “dressed” (I had no clue what that meant until I learned I had to help!) on their property. She made her own noodles, dinner rolls and of course, hamburger buns.  Every Easter she made iced bunny cookies and every Valentine’s Day she made iced heart shaped cookies and each family member got their own bag of them. 

You could drop in on her and my father-in-law at any given time and she could just pull food out of the air to feed you in just a few minutes.  In fact, when our son was a teenager, if he didn’t like what I was fixing for dinner, he would just head over to grandma’s because he knew everything she made was good.

All of this was overwhelming to a young bride who was raised in the city.   I had no clue how to garden or can and freeze the produce from a garden…and I sure didn’t have a clue how to make everything from scratch.  My mom was a very good cook, but we never lived in the country where we could have a big garden so most of our food supply came from the grocery store.  This was a whole new world for me and it was obvious that I had a lot to learn. Inviting my in-laws over for dinner was a very frightening ordeal because I felt so inferior to the cooking of Betty Crocker J

As I was canning green beans this past weekend, so many memories came flooding into my mind. I remembered those early years of standing in my mother-in-law’s kitchen as I helped her can green beans.  After a few years I felt confident enough to tackle the job in my own kitchen and bought my own canner.  When I had questions, I knew I could call Mom Fulton and she would patiently go over the protocol with me.

We spent many hours cooking together in her kitchen as I learned how to make some of her favorite dishes.  I worked alongside her and Dad Fulton as we turned the 200 live chickens into fryers that would go in the freezer.  That’s when I learned that dressing a chicken had nothing to do with clothes and that gizzards had to be cleaned out before freezing!

Looking back, I am so thankful that God placed someone in my life who could come beside me and teach me these things.  I discovered that I love to cook, garden and can and without her patient teaching…I probably never would have learned all of this.  She never made me feel stupid when I asked so many questions…she was just happy to spend the time together.  

I’m also so thankful that my Jesus is the same way.  He has so much to teach me and He patiently shows me His ways.  At those times when I am feeling overwhelmed and so unqualified…He encourages me to keep going and keep trying.  He never tires of all my stupid questions…He’s just thrilled to spend the time together.

Jesus is anxiously waiting to teach us and I think He expects us to be willing to come alongside those we meet to teach them.   My prayer is that our hearts will be open to His leading and our eyes will be open to see those around us who are in need.  Who knows…you might just be the Betty Crocker or the Paul Bunyan that someone is looking for.  And don’t worry…they won’t be looking for perfection…they will just be thrilled to spend time together with you.

“Show me the right path, O Lord;

point out the road for me to follow.

Lead me by your truth and teach me,

for you are the God who saves me.

All day long I put my hope in you.”

Psalm 25:4-5

“Don’t look out only for your own interests,

but take an interest in others, too.”

Philippians 2:4

Monday Morning Memo: Side by Side

I shared at the end of June, that I was taking the month of July off from writing to spend time in prayer, seeking guidance and direction for the coming months. Honestly, I had been feeling restless and felt like maybe I was supposed to be doing something new…I just didn’t have a clue what that “new” thing was!

So, my mowing time these past weeks was spent praying and asking for direction.  I prayed and prayed and prayed…but heard lots of silence.  No writing in the sky…no lightbulb moment…no big spiritual revelations.  Finally, the last time I mowed, I sensed Him saying, “Not yet LuAnn.  Wait.” I guess that was an answer…but not the one I wanted.

How do you do when the Lord’s answer is “wait”?  Hopefully you are better than me, because I wouldn’t win an award for waiting patiently. I always feel like action is necessary to follow His will and so patiently waiting is just a huge waste of time.  I think I often feel like the Lord needs my help to get something accomplished and I’m probably mistaken about that.  He needs my obedience…He doesn’t really need my help.  But He does allow me the privilege of having a role in seeing something come to fruition…because He loves me that much.  

It’s similar to how it was when our children were growing up.  There were many tasks around the house that could be accomplished easier and much quicker if I just did them myself.  I didn’t need any help from them to get certain jobs done, but because I loved them and wanted a closer relationship with them, I would sometimes ask them to help me.  Those times brought us closer as we worked side by side to see our task completed.  It’s the same way with our Jesus.  He is more than capable of doing everything himself, but because He wants a closer relationship with us, He offers us opportunities to work side by side with Him.  What a privilege!

In my devotions this past week I read these words, “We must be willing at every moment to surrender to His will. The Father is at work, through the Spirit, to bring the completed work of Christ to the world. He knows where workers are needed and sends them to these places. Even though it may seem that going there will lead to financial loss or greater family struggles, we are to rejoice because we have confidence in what the Father is doing. With all humility, we should accept the portion which God has prepared for us. Glorify His name by believing His promises for your spouse and children. No matter what happens, we can have complete confidence that the Father is directing our lives, and great joy can be found in submitting to His will. Nothing else will ever bring the true satisfaction that our souls are longing for” (from Appointed to Bear Fruit).

Yes, it comes down to surrendering to His will in every moment and I’m pretty sure that means every moment of waiting.  Maybe during this time, He has more pruning to do in me so that I am prepared for whatever lies ahead.  Ouch. That’s a scary thought J

Are you also in a time of waiting?  If so, you and I can have complete confidence knowing that He is working out His perfect plan behind the scenes.  And when everything is in place…at just the right time…He will invite us to work with Him, side by side, to see His plan come to fruition.  For now we will have joy, knowing that even as we wait, He will never leave our side!

But Jesus replied, “My Father is always working, and so am I.”

John 5:17

 “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”

Romans 8:28 

Monday Morning Memo: Deceiving Appearances

This summer has been flying by…and July seemed to go especially fast!  This last month for us was filled with a potpourri of activities.  Entertaining, a little bit of travelling, worshipping with our church family, working in our flower beds and lots and lots of mowing.  As I shared back on June 3rd, mowing has been a favorite activity for me for many years…but due to bad health I had not been able to do it for quite some time.  This summer the Lord has richly blessed me with greatly improved health, and I have been able to mow with very few negative side effects.  What a blessing!

As a result of all of the hours on the mower, I actually have a tan this year!  Don’t worry…I have used sunscreen…but I have enjoyed looking in the mirror and actually seeing a color other than pale white. Seeing my brown skin has reminded me of something I did as I was growing up.  Those were the days when we would lather ourselves in baby oil and then roasted in the sun (what in the world were we thinking??).  But I can remember checking my tan by turning one of my hands up and one down so that I could see the difference.  Since my palm doesn’t tan, it was a great way to see my progress in attaining some color.

As I did this “action” the other day, a lightbulb went on in my head.  I stood there looking at the two totally different colored hands, and I thought about the fact that even though my skin color is different, inside they are still my hands.  The outer covering may differ, but that’s where the difference stops.

My next thought was about the times when I have let how someone else looks, affect my treatment of them.  Just because their skin color may be different than mine…or their clothing differs from mine…or the fact that they are covered in tattoos and I’m not…or maybe their number of piercings outrank mine…I shy away or ignore them.  Regardless of our differences, our insides are the same. We were all created in God’s image and I should not let our differences control my actions and reactions.

If I’m honest, I failed at this recently.  We walked into a fast food restaurant and there wasn’t anyone at the cash register. We waited for quite some time and finally, a young man walked up to the counter.  One look at him and I rashly made my opinion of him and his work ethic. I immediately thought that we were in big trouble and that it would be a miracle if he even got our order correct.

Boy, I couldn’t have been more wrong.  We soon figured out that he had been away from the cash register because they were shorthanded, and he had stepped in to help get the order delivered faster to the person ahead of us.  We then placed our order and found out that it would be a 15-minute wait for one of the items that we wanted.  This young man apologized for the inconvenience, gave us a discount and also offered a free item on the menu for each of us because of our wait.  He was courteous, friendly and genuinely wanted to put the customer first and feel welcomed.  Then he told us to go ahead and sit down and he would deliver all of our food to us when everything was ready and he did just that.

I left that restaurant feeling very convicted.  Just because someone appears different than me, it does not give me the right to pass judgement.  I need to work on seeing each person through God’s eyes.  We read in I Samuel 16:7, “But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him.  The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them.  People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”  Ouch. I sure fall short in this area.

How about you? As you go throughout your day today, will you look at others through your eyes or through God’s?  Will their color/clothes/piercings/odor/age/beliefs…etc. etc. etc…skew how much you show God’s love to them?  I hope not. Maybe if you and I start seeing others as God’s creation just like us…with the same insides as us…they won’t feel our judgement but our love.   That’s what we are called to do.  “This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you” (John 15:12).  The question is:  Are we doing it?