Monday Morning Memo: Who Pushes Your Buttons?

Well, ready or not…here it comes!  This week begins the holiday madness of cooking, cleaning, shopping…so that you can spend love-filled, heartwarming, Hallmark-like time at various family gatherings.  Right?  OK…maybe that’s not what will take place for you between now and the end of the year.  I hope it is a fair description…but unfortunately, I know that for some…the days ahead hold everything but a loving family scene.

I wrote last week about restoration and I zeroed in on the rebuilding of marriages…but there are often other relationships in our lives that are in disarray.  We may get along great with our spouse, but please don’t make us be in the same room with certain family members.  Or, maybe we get along fine with our family, but please God, don’t make us sit in the same pew at church with that hypocrite who only shows up at Thanksgiving and Christmas.  

Most people have someone in their life that really irritates them.  This may be someone with whom they have a strained relationship or someone who just knows how to push their buttons.  And while it is often fairly easy to avoid these difficult people during the rest of the year…it sometimes is impossible to do so at holidays or special events…causing more stress than most are willing to endure.

Maybe the questions we need to ask ourselves when we are faced with these types of circumstances are, What can I do to change this situation?  Can I make this person change?  The answer is no.  If I nag and nag and nag will the situation get better?  The answer is no.  If I whine, complain and grumble about it to everyone I meet will it make the holidays bearable?  The answer is probably no. 

If I pray for this person and our relationship…will God hear my prayers?  The answer is yes.  If I pray for this person and our relationship…can God begin to change the other person and me?  The answer is yes.  If I pray for this person and our relationship…will my heart begin to soften and will I begin to see this person through God’s eyes instead of mine?  The answer is probably yes.

I Corinthians 13 is often referred to as the love chapter and I really like how some of the verses are written in the version The Message. They say:

“So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first”,
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.” 

WOW.  I know if I am honest, I fall way short in living out these verses on a daily basis.  I’m guessing if I really took these words seriously…using them as my guide for how to pray for those who push my buttons…I just might see God work in a mighty way.  What could God accomplish if each day I prayed,

“God, help me to never give up loving _________ (insert name).  Help me to care more for him/her than myself.  Lord, help me not to think that I am better than him/her and help me to not fly off the handle when I am irritated.  Help me to not rank sins…pointing out his/her indiscretions and neglecting to ask for forgiveness for mine.  Father, help me to trust you with _________ (insert name) and our relationship…knowing that you are able to do far more than I can even imagine.  Help me Lord to always be the person that you want me to be…until the day when you call me home.  Amen.” 

If you are looking for something to give Jesus this year for His birthday…I have a feeling He would love for you and me to commit to praying this prayer every day.  Who knows…maybe in doing this our holidays will end up being what they were intended to be…a time of praise and a time of celebrating Jesus’ birth…instead of a stressful time of button pushing J

Monday Morning Memo: Restoration

I’ve always been amazed at people who can enter a dilapidated, falling down house and see the potential.  They can already see in their mind what the house could look like with some love, elbow grease and sometimes...months and months (maybe even years!) of work.  I remember when my brother-in-law and sister-in-law bought their home.  They were so excited to show it to us and I have to be honest…I felt sick as I walked through it!  It was in horrible shape and all I could see was the disrepair all around me.  But they could see what it could become while all I could see was its present condition.   They knew that those falling down walls were worth restoring…and today their home is absolutely beautiful.  I’m so glad they weren’t so short sided like I was.

Was it a lot of work?  Yes, it was.  But they knew it would be worth it in the end when they could enjoy the fruit of their labor.

As I was thinking about this the last few days, I thought about other areas of our lives that sometimes need restored.  A friendship that has been broken…a falling out with a family member…a marriage that is on the rocks.  Why is it that we are often willing to put hours and hours of work into something with no eternal value…but when it comes to broken relationships…we give up and walk away instead of doing all we can to bring restoration?

Unfortunately, we see this all too often in marriages today.  Our spouse isn’t making us happy…so we walk away.  The person we work with is a lot more fun than the person we married…so we walk away.  The stress of providing for our family becomes overwhelming…so we walk away.  Our spouse has physical ailments that weren’t expected…so we walk away.  Why?  Because taking our wedding vows seriously and working on restoring the broken-down walls just seems like more work than we are willing or able to do.

  

I think it is easy for us to forget sometimes that we serve a God who is in the restoration business.  He can look at a marriage that is falling apart, that is headed for divorce court and see what it CAN be with forgiveness, love and some elbow grease.   Will it take a lot of work?  Yes, it will.  But God never gives up because He knows it will be worth it in the end when the marriage and family are restored and serving Him together.

There is a song by Chris August which speaks of this kind of restoration.  Here are the words from his song “Restore”:

Nobody's growing old together, we've made it easy just to quit

Love has become a negative percentage, why do we bother to commit

We've got a long list of excuses, ways we try to justify

Well, I propose to you the truth is, marriage does not have to die.

CHORUS:  I know you're feeling like it’s falling apart and it can't go on anymore

But God is a God who knows how to heal so just give it up to the Lord

And He will restore.

He said with this ring I promise, and with I do she said forever

But right now if they're being honest they don't know if they'll stay together

Let's fast forward to the future after struggling on their own

They finally figured out they needed Jesus in the middle

Now I'm watching God rebuild their home.

CHORUS

The enemy tries to come and divide Trying to get us to give up the fight

But darkness will always lose out to light' 

Cause we've got the power of Christ on our side

I see you growing old together I pray I find a love like yours

So if you're feeling like it’s falling apart and it can't go on anymore

God is a God who knows how to heal so just give it up to the Lord.

And He will restore

Like it was before

You may have strayed off course

But He will restore.

I can’t help but think that God laid this subject on my heart to share today because someone reading this is thinking of walking away.  They are toying with the idea that their marriage is just too far gone and there isn’t any hope.  Just like this song says, Satan is trying hard to divide this marriage, telling those involved that life would be so much easier, and the grass would be so much greener without their spouse, without all the obligations that seem to get in the way of their happiness.

I want to urge you today to give your marriage to the Lord and allow Him to restore it.  He can take the crumbling pieces and put them together to be even better than you can ever imagine.  Stop struggling on your own and put Jesus in the middle of your marriage and allow Him to make something beautiful out of the ashes.  I guarantee you that HE IS ABLE…you just need to be willing.

^“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful 

or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. 

It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the 

truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith,

 is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Monday Morning Memo: Our Focus

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting to the place where I hate to turn on the news anymore. Pushing the “on” button on the remote, fills my mind with reports of atrocious, hate filled murders, unimaginable abuse of children, politicians all shouting they have the answers for our country but, unfortunately, most of those “answers” aren’t based on Biblical principles…and I could go on and on. Add to that our day-to-day stresses of living such as job issues, family difficulties and health issues and it is no wonder that many people are suffering from depression.

The surprising thing is that none of this is new news.  Just pick up the Bible and start reading the Old Testament.  I don’t know if you have noticed, but there aren’t a lot of fun, good-feeling stories there either.  There were many wars, multiple murders, people sacrificing their children, plagues (just to name a few) and none of these events leave you with a warm, fuzzy feeling.   In fact, sometimes reading these Biblical accounts, makes a person feel worse when they’re done than when they started.

But then, come across Isaiah 2:22 and it says, “Stop trusting in man, who has but a breath in his nostrils.  Of what account is he?”   Read and reread that verse, and you may come to the same conclusion that I did that this verse summarizes the main reason we can feel “down-in-the dumps”.  Many times, we become discouraged because we have put our eyes on man and man has let us down.  As Christians we need to remember that our focus is not to be on a human, but on the One who created us and will never let us down.

Humans can be unreliable, selfish, shortsighted, cruel…yet we often seek after them instead of putting our trust in our all-knowing God.  Psalm 100:5 tells us, “For the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations.”  HE is good…HE is faithful…HIS love never fails.  

If we believe this to be true, then it is important that we ask ourselves: Where is my focus?  On whom do I put my trust?  If Christ is the answer to these questions, then even when the world is in turmoil around us, we can have peace that passes all understanding.   And it is that peace that the world is looking for, but may never experience, unless they see it in us first. 

Monday Morning Memo: A Spoiled Brat

As you know, I recently began Throne Thursday, where I take other people’s needs to God’s throne on their behalf.  The response has been amazing…and I am humbled by those who have allowed me this privilege of lifting their concerns to our Jesus.  I am being reminding through this ministry that there are many hurting people around us…some that you would never think had a care in the world…but inside are desperately needing a touch from our Savior.

I am also learning that I have a lot more time in my day to pray than I thought I had.  I have always been one to pray throughout my day…but God is showing me times when I can be an intercessor for others…instead of wasting that section of time.  Now, instead of letting my mind wander or spending time worrying about my day while I’m getting ready in the morning…I have my prayer journal open…taking the listed concerns to the throne.  I am learning to be much more intentional on boldly taking others needs to our Jesus.  Instead of just throwing up a prayer and then forgetting about it and expecting Him to work, I am learning that He expects passionate and persistent prayers from me on a daily basis.

How badly do we want to see God work?  Are our prayers passionate and persistent or are they sporadic?  I don’t think sporadic prayers are going to cut it if we really want to see God work in a mighty way.  Until we get an answer from God to our prayer (and we need to realize the answer we get may not be the answer we wanted) we shouldn’t stop lifting it up to our Heavenly Father. 

What if our prayer would have been answered on day 100…but we quit praying about it on day 90, 95 or even day 99? What miracle would I have seen happen on day 25…but because on day one I just threw it up to God and never brought it to His throne again, the miracle was never seen? 

Unfortunately, I have been known to whine to Jesus about Him not answering a prayer of mine, but if I’m honest, I have quit praying about the need quite a while ago.  I haven’t stopped praying about it because I have received an answer; I just gave up because the answer wasn’t coming in MY time.  Then I blame God for not answering my prayer.  I’m sure I have caused Him to shake His head more than once when I start my whining and complaining.

I’m sure we can all agree that we are living in a time when we really need to see miracles take place and realize that our prayers CAN make a difference.  But we need to be passionate and persistent…not giving up until we get answers.  So, I’ve decided to work hard on praying more and whining less in the days ahead.  Hopefully one of the “perks” of this will be that I will look more like my Jesus instead of resembling a spoiled brat :-)

I want to challenge you today to look for "pockets" of time when you can pray for someone else.  Not only will that person be blessed...but you will be blessed more than you can imagine.  God is alive and well and wants to work through your prayers!

“Devote yourselves to prayer with

an alert mind and a thankful heart.”

Colossians 4:2