I used to love riding roller coasters. I lived my jr. high years and part of my high school years close to Disneyland in California…so I had the opportunity to ride some of the biggest and best and I loved every minute of it.
Fast forward 45 years…and you couldn’t pay me enough money to ride one today. After five back surgeries, just the thought of riding one makes me cringe because I would probably end up either in traction or on a surgery table if I even survived! The cost just isn’t worth the momentary thrill.
The problem is that I am realizing these days that I don’t have to actually be on a rollercoaster to feel like I am on one. Life can, at times, be a ride with enough twists and turns to make me wonder what is just over the next hill, all while having a knot in the pit of my stomach. This is exactly how I am currently feeling.
My dear, 94-year-old mother-in-law was put under the care of hospice a week ago. The weeks leading up to that decision and the days since then have felt like a ride on which I don’t want to be. One day feels like the calm of going up a hill…and the next day feels like we are spiraling downward and there is no bottom. And the most devastating realization is that when this particular “ride” is over…I, along with our family, will have a hole in our midst that will never be filled.
Change hurts. Loss hurts. And this kind of hurt doesn’t have an easy fix or an easy solution and no matter what tomorrow or the next day brings…my life will never be the same. It won’t be a ride where there is an ending…because this ride will influence every day for the rest of my life.
I was reading in the 17th chapter of Numbers this past week, where the people of Israel were once again grumbling and causing dissention. So, God told Moses to have the people bring him twelve wooden staffs. There was to be one staff from each of Israel’s tribes and he was to write each leader’s name on his particular staff. These staffs were then supposed to be put in the Tabernacle in front of the Ark which contained the tablets of the Covenant. God told Moses that the staff of the man He would choose to lead the people would have buds sprout on it as a sign.
When Moses went into the Tabernacle of the Covenant the next day, he found Aaron’s staff, which represented the tribe of Levi, had not only sprouted…but it had also budded, blossomed and produced ripe almonds! All over night!
While I’m sure God wanted the people of Israel to see who He had chosen to lead…I can’t help but believe He also wanted to make sure Moses and Aaron knew that He had their backs. He knew what they needed and was more than capable of handling any situation they faced. When trouble arose…when the rollercoasters of life came their way, God could use it to teach them…to guide them…to work within them to help them look more and more like Him. It would have been a miracle for the people to see that Aaron’s staff had budded overnight…but they also witnessed that it had blossomed and produced almonds. You see, God was capable of doing more than they could even imagine.
Just as God used this time of trouble for Moses, Aaron and the people of Israel to witness what He was capable of…maybe God is using this particular time for me to witness His ability to see me through every twist and turn that comes my way. Fortunately, He can see my tomorrow and my mother-in-law’s tomorrow, and He already knows what each of us will need to fulfill His perfect plan…and yes, that might just include another roller coaster ride.
Maybe you are also feeling like you are on a “ride” right now that will never end. Maybe your days are spent wondering what is going to be just over the next hill…and you have a knot in the pit of your stomach. I want to urge you today to keep your eyes on God…knowing that He has your back. He can see you through and accomplish more on your journey than you can even imagine. It may not be a ride that makes sense and it may include some changes and maybe even some loss…but through it all…He promises to guide and direct you at every turn.
As I stated, the cost of riding a roller coaster today…just isn’t worth the momentary thrill for me. But I am confident that the cost of riding life’s roller coaster with God…will be worth every second.
Jesus spoke to the people once more and said,
“I am the light of the world. If you follow me,
you won’t have to walk in darkness,
because you will have the light that leads to life.”
John 8:12
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