“It’s not about you.” If that statement sounds familiar, it probably means you have read Rick Warren’s book, The Purpose Driven Life. It is the very first sentence in chapter 1. He goes on to say, “The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness. It’s far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams and ambitions. If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God. You were born by his purpose and for his purpose.”
It also may sound familiar to you because I have shared those words with you before…but they came back to me recently because of a Facebook post I made. If you are a “friend” of mine on Facebook, you may have read these words:
This will probably be a controversial post…but that hasn’t stopped me in the past :-). I've seen influencers the past couple of weeks, buying Easter baskets for their kids that in my honest opinion...are ridiculous. They have more in them than we bought our kids for Christmas.
I think this is a contributing factor to seeing parents freaking out because they don’t have the money to buy their kids extravagant Easter baskets. Friends…hear me on this…it’s ok. We NEVER bought our kids an Easter basket…yes, I know that may be shocking for some of you…but our poor, underprivileged children never got one. And do you know what? They grew up to be wonderful, amazing, productive adults…even without an Easter basket. I have never heard them say, “Well, you know mom, our life would be so much better if we just would have gotten baskets at Easter”. Nope, never heard it.
I’m not bashing you if you buy your kids baskets. If that is something that is important to you in making memories…go for it! But I just wanted to let those parents know, who maybe can’t buy them this year…your kids will be fine. Your 1- and 3-year-old won’t remember it anyway, and if your kids are older…they will be just fine if they don’t get one. Let them know all about the real meaning of Easter…that will have a much more positive, lasting effect on them!
I’ve thought more about this Facebook post of mine during the days since…and Rick Warren’s comment has been in the forethought of my mind. Why? Because I fear we are raising a generation of children who think everything revolves around them. Don’t get me wrong…I wanted my kids…and now my grandkids…to have times of fun by receiving gifts…but it just seems like now we have to buy them something at every holiday, putting the attention on them instead of the meaning of the day we are celebrating.
Why must we put our focus on what we will receive at a holiday? I hate to disappoint you…but Easter has nothing to do with the Easter bunny and if our kids see us put the emphasis on an Easter basket filled with toys, games and chocolate…they are once again getting the signal that it is all about them.
Even in sports today…everyone receives a participation award…because heaven help us if they must realize they weren’t on the winning team. I even noticed at some of our grandchildren’s games, when announcements were made on upcoming tourney games, they wouldn’t say “The team that wins will move on to play next Saturday at 10:00 am and the team that loses will play next Saturday at 9:00 am.” Instead, they said something to the effect of, “The team that wins will move on to play next Saturday at 10:00 am, and the other team (or sometimes the team that didn’t win) will move on to play next Saturday at 9:00 am.” They were so careful not to make the kids feel like they lost.
Now, I understand that we don’t want to hurt our kid’s self-esteem…but life isn’t all roses and there are times we must face the thorns. But if we are constantly made to feel like we are the focus…we are not going to be ready to face the failures that life will surely throw our way.
Some day that child will get a job and they will probably realize fairly quickly that the focus won’t be on them. They will have to make sacrifices and work for the good of the “team”. We need to prepare them while they are growing up for times such as this, but if we are always making them feel like they deserve something at every turn…we have not done our “job” as parents.
Now, I can hear some of you say, “LuAnn, come on. It’s just a basket…or a gift…or a reward. Don’t be such a party pooper!” I know…I get it. We all want to do everything we can for our kids…but we also have the responsibility to make sure they are prepared for the days, months and years to come.
Instead of giving them an Easter basket…why not prepare a basket with them to give to someone who needs it. There are so many people in nursing homes who never have any family visit them…they would be thrilled to receive a basket with some special treats. Or gather items to give to kids who are in the hospital…or living in homeless shelters. That sweet child of yours will not only learn much more but will also have the feeling that comes when you bless others…and that experience will be remembered for a lifetime.
Raising kids is hard and if you are like me…you will make lots of mistakes. But I think if we can keep our focus…and theirs…on what is truly meaningful in life…our kids will grow up with something worth much more than an Easter basket. Because as Rick Warren reminded us, wewere born by HIS purpose and for HIS purpose.
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