Monday Morning Memo: He's Watching Me

I may have shared this story before, but the details came flooding back to me last week on one of my walks.  I love to listen to Christian music as I walk early in the morning because it helps lift my spirit and makes the time go faster as I exercise.  A song came on that immediately propelled my thoughts to a day years ago that I doubt I will ever forget.

On that day, I was sitting in a hospital room next to my mother’s bedside.  She was restless and confused.  As a result of Alzheimer’s, her mind didn’t always comprehend what was going on around her and being in an unfamiliar place made it even worse for her.  I remember talking to her and trying to calm her nerves, but I wasn’t having much success.

All of a sudden, she began to relax and I saw her beautiful smile return.  She looked at me and said, “Do you hear that?  Do you hear that singing? It’s beautiful!”  I have to be honest…all I could hear were the ordinary hospital noises…but I wasn’t about to let on to her that I couldn’t perceive what she could.

I decided that since whatever she could hear was calming her, I would play along.  I told her that I could barely hear the singing and I just couldn’t make out the words and wondered if she could tell them to me.  Her response?  “Oh, they are singing my favorite song, ‘His Eye is On the Sparrow’.  Isn’t it beautiful?”

By this point her face was beaming and she was completely relaxed.  We sat there together, mom being ministered to by her Savior and me being ministered to by my mother.  You see I believe that the Lord knew what words my mom needed to hear to remind her of His constant care of her.   I, in turn, needed to see once again the deep, powerful and intimate relationship she had with her Heavenly Father.  Her faith was so ingrained in her that even in the darkness of Alzheimer’s, she could still recall the promises of her Savior.  During her life, my mom didn’t just talk about her faith…she lived her faith day in and day out…even at times when following Him meant she had to sacrifice.  She was willing to give and do whatever her Lord asked of her.

That’s the kind of relationship I want to have with the Lord.  I want His words, His wisdom, His promises to be so much a part of me that no matter what happens I will be able to draw from His power.  But I realize that that doesn’t just happen.  It isn’t something that is just automatically in me because I have Christian parents and grandparents or even as a result of sitting in a pew every Sunday.  Just like sitting in a garage doesn’t make me a car…sitting in a church doesn’t automatically make me a devoted follower of Christ.  I have to be willing and open to learn from those who have walked with their Savior longer than me and from my brothers and sisters in Christ with whom I worship.  Ultimately, my bond with the Lord happens over time as I fellowship with Him, reading His Word and listening and sharing through prayer.

Mom’s favorite song says,

“Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,

Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heav’n and home,

When Jesus is my portion? My constant Friend is He:

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free,

For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.”

Just as those words were a comfort to her during her hospital stay, they are a comfort to me knowing that nothing will happen to me today that He won’t see.   The One who knows everything, wants to have an intimate, personal relationship with me and it is my choice how close I will allow Him to be.  I have no reason to be discouraged, no reason to be lonely because Jesus is all I need and promises to be my constant friend.  It just can’t get much better than that.

“Lord, help me to make the choice every day to strive for a closer relationship with you.  Help me to seek you, to learn from you, to hear your whispers as I go throughout my day.  And may those who come behind me, see you in me, and see someone who was willing to do whatever you asked to bring glory and honor to your name.”