Last week marked one year since I headed in for my fifth back surgery, thinking it would be the “easiest” one of all of them…only to wake up and find out it had been the most extensive one. I’ll never forget my surgeon standing at the foot of my bed after it was over, shaking his head and saying, “I am sorry LuAnn. It was so much worse than I imagined. I can’t even tell you how long of a recovery this will be…but it will be a long one.”
Unfortunately he was right. It has been a very long recovery, with an unexpected knee replacement thrown in the mix. There have been good days and there have been some very bad days, when it took every ounce of fortitude I could muster, just to get out of bed. But when I look back over the past year, there is one word that just keeps coming to my mind: BLESSED.
Through it all, I have been blessed. Now before you start thinking that I am writing this just to sound spiritual, let me assure you that I am not. I’m not trying to paint a picture of being such a strong, devoted follower of Jesus that I didn’t ever whine, complain or become discouraged…because I did all of those things (just ask my husband). I even had times when I was pretty ticked at Jesus for making me go through all of this. So since I’m usually pretty honest with my readers, I have to admit that I haven’t always walked a righteous, sinless path during this time of recovery.
But regardless of my actions or reactions, Jesus has never left my side. Not once did He throw His arms up in disgust and decide that I was just too much of a bother to Him. I have never felt like He wanted me to just pull myself up by my bootstraps and march on, because I know that when I’ve hurt…He has hurt. When I’ve cried…He has cried. When I’ve rejoiced over steps forward…He has rejoiced with me.
When I look back over the last year, I am so very thankful, incredibly grateful and unbelievably blessed. Over and over again, Christ has shown me that His timing is perfect and His ways need to be my ways. It is usually when I try relying on my strength alone, that I find myself in the valley of discouragement.
On the anniversary of my back surgery last week, I had the privilege of speaking at the Palestine Christian Church in Wolcott, IN. The evening was a wonderful reminder of Christ’s faithfulness and His many blessings. I’m not sure I have ever met a more welcoming and loving group of women as I did that evening. As I drove home, I felt so blessed that my health has been restored enough that I was able to share with these sisters in Christ.
The following morning, Ezra John Yue Tan, our 9 lb 14 oz third grandson, joined our family. Again, his arrival showed me how God’s timing in my life had been perfect leading up to his arrival, since I’ve had time to recuperate from my knee surgery so I could help my daughter and her family. Even when things made no sense to me…they made perfect sense to God.
Isaiah 41:10 tells us, “Don’t be afraid,for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” These are such encouraging words for us to read, especially when we are going through times of trials. No matter what we are going through, He is with us and He will never leave us to fend for ourselves.
If you are in a valley of discouragement right now, you may want to reflect on the past year and make a list of those times when you saw God’s hand at work in your life. You just might be surprised at how often His timing proved to be perfect for you. As a result, even in the darkest times, you may realize how very thankful, incredibly grateful and unbelievably blessed you are.
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