Monday Morning Memo: In His Family Together

If you have been in my home, you know that I really don’t have a theme as far as my decorating.  I pretty much have things on the walls and sitting around that I like…regardless of whether they all flow together or not.  I’ve heard people say their style of decorating is country, or modern, or eclectic, or traditional or mid-century modern…my style is just me.  I really don’t care if it is the latest fashion or not…I just want to feel comfortable with it and I want my home to feel comfortable to those who visit.

 

My decorating includes several scenery pictures on my wall which I really like, but there is one that has a very special meaning to us.  A dear friend of ours painted this picture that I’m sharing with you today.  While I’m sure we would love it if we just saw it in a store, it has a much deeper meaning to us because the artist is someone we know.  We have spent time with him, and we know him fairly well, so when he gave it to us it immediately became a prized possession of ours. 

 

The photographs I have in my home of my family also mean the world to me.  Looking at them brings me comfort, happiness and a feeling of contentment.  Why?  Because I know those in the photos well and oh, I love them so.  I have spent hours and hours with them and have desired to know everything about them.  I could put pictures of your family throughout my home and while I would think they were nice…I wouldn’t have the same feelings when I looked at them as I do with my own family.  I know my family intimately because I have spent time with them and of course, we are related.  If I ever feel distant from them, it is usually because I haven’t spent quality time with them recently. 

 

The same is true with my relationship to my Jesus.  Those times when I feel alone and I become discouraged, He can feel distant to me.  Is that because He has left me, or is it maybe because I haven’t spent quality time with Him for a while?  Have I been reading His Word because I truly want to know Him intimately, or am I just skimming the words to be able to mark it off my to-do list? 

 

I am the daughter of the author of this precious book and so it should be my desire to know everything about Him.  I should know Him so well that I ought to feel comfortable in His presence as I share with Him and He shares with me.  Being with my Jesus should bring me comfort, happiness and a feeling of contentment; but none of that will happen unless I desire to know everything about Him and want to live my life according to His instructions.

 

When you enter my home, I’m guessing it won’t take you long to know how much I love my family because of everything I have displayed.  But since I know I must love my Jesus even more, you should also realize my love for Him.  I want you to sense that the Holy Spirit lives in me and through me.  If you don’t…then I have failed.

 

I have a long way to go to be the follower of Jesus He wants me to be.  I know I need to spend more time in His Word…devouring His truths so they become my truths.  Since He is my Father, I want to learn everything He wants to teach me and I hope you want to also.  I think we all need to support each other and encourage each other on our journey because we are all in His family together.  And I just can’t help but think that maybe when we get to heaven and see the home He has prepared for us…there might be pictures of us displayed for all to see.  Why?  Because we are His children and oh, He loves us so!

 

“Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you. 

In the same way that a branch can’t bear grapes by itself 

but only by being joined to the vine, 

you can’t bear fruit unless you are joined with me.

I am the Vine, you are the branches. 

When you’re joined with me and I with you, 

the relation intimate and organic,

 the harvest is sure to be abundant.”

John 15:4-8 (The Message)

Monday Morning Memo: Selective Hearing...ME?

Last week I shared about our children having selective hearing.  They seem to be able to hear us when we ask them if they want some ice cream…but are suddenly deaf if we ask them to do a task around the house.  It’s not that they don’t hear us…they just sometimes choose not to listen.

 

While I was putting that particular post together…I kept sensing God asking me if I was good at listening.  Do I hear Him when He speaks to me and immediately obey…or do I often pretend not to hear and continue to do my own thing?  Yes, many children today need to learn to do as they’re told…but if I’m honest…I have some work to do in this area also.

 

As I have shared…the past several months have been difficult for me and I have struggled to see God’s plan for my life.  I have prayed over and over again for Him to reveal what He wants me to do…since several of the things I have felt called to do in the past…just aren’t possible at this point due to my health.  I have become frustrated, discouraged and if I’m honest, probably a little cranky.

 

But I realized a couple weeks ago that it wasn’t that God wasn’t hearing my prayers…it was that I wasn’t listening to His answers.  Because you see…I didn’t want to accept the answers He was giving me…so I conveniently chose not to listen. 

 

This realization came to me as I was talking to a friend whom I deeply respect.  He was asking me how my health was at this point and then asked how I was handling it mentally.  I shared with him my discouragement and frustration in not knowing what God’s plan was for my life right now and he calmly said, “Sure you do.  You know what His plan is for you…you are living it right now.  What you are going through is God’s plan for you at this time.  You may not like it and it may not be easy…but this is His plan for you.”  His statement hit me like a ton of bricks…because I’ve heard God telling me that…but I haven’t wanted to accept it.  What He’s been telling me hasn’t been what I wanted to hear…so I figured if I just kept acting like I wasn’t hearing Him…He might change His mind 😊

 

Then this past week, my devotions took me to Isaiah 43:18-19, which reads,

 

18) “Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
19) See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:18-19

 

Verse 19 means so much to our family because God has used it to do great things for us…but I’m not sure I ever paid attention to verse 18.  I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that as I read that verse, God was reaffirming that I am not to dwell in the past.  I’m not to hold onto whatever His prior will was for me.  He is now doing something new and He WILL make a way in the wilderness of my life and bring the most needed water in my wasteland.  My past was because of Him…now I need to trust Him with my present and my future because it is all for His glory.

 

What about you?  Are you listening for God’s voice and immediately obeying Him…or are you like I was and choosing to have selective hearing?  I can attest to the fact that you will have a lot more peace if you decide to accept His plan and be obedient to His directives.  After all, He knows your yesterday, today and tomorrow…so who could be better at giving you directions than Him!

Monday Morning Memo: Selective Hearing

If you still have children at home…do they always obey you the first time you tell them to do something?  Are they always perfect angels who stand at attention when you enter the room?  If you answered “Yes” to both questions…then you need to be the one writing this post today!  I’ve talked to a lot of parents over the years and many of them say they usually have to repeat themselves over and over again before their children do what they are told to do.  They often hope the situation will improve as their children get older…but that is rarely the case.

 

I realized when our children were growing up that they could easily have selective hearing…hearing only what they wanted to hear.  One way to test this was to say to them, “Hey, who wants ice cream?”  If they immediately said, “I DO!”, I could be pretty sure that they were probably making the choice not to hear me when I told them to do something that they didn’t want to do.  Very few children need to be asked over and over again if they want something that is a delectable delight or is a fun adventure.

 

We came to the realization with our children that they usually did hear us the first time and so we decided there would be a consequence if they didn’t obey the first time.  We had to figure out what the one thing was that each child really didn’t want to lose and then if they chose not to obey, that one privilege was taken away.  For example, if one of our children loved electronics and made the decision not to obey us, those electronics were taken away from them for an undisclosed length of time.

 

The reason we didn’t tell them how long they would be without their “privilege” was because we realized that if we told them a week, that child would behave beautifully for a week until they got their privilege returned to them and then their bad habit would return.  So, we told them that when we saw a consistent change in their behavior, they would regain their privilege.  I can remember being asked, “How much longer?” several times because it really was hard on them to not know when their privilege would be returned.

 

Do you know what?  All three of our children survived and soon learned to listen the first time they were told to do something.  We didn’t even have to count…which is a huge pet peeve of mine.  I will probably get flack for this, but it really bothers me when I hear a parent tell their child to do something and when they choose not to listen, the adult starts counting.  “One…two…three…four…five…and I’ve heard some go up as far as ten and many times nothing happens at that point.  The adult stops counting and the child still chooses not to listen.  Why?  Because that little darling is smarter than you think and they know you will tire of counting!  

 

Parenting is hard…really hard…and you will face many challenges along the way.  I know it isn’t always easy being the “bad guy” to your children because we all want our kids to be our friend and think we are the greatest.  But we need to remember that children are actually happier when they have boundaries and limits and that one of our jobs as a parent is to make sure they learn to respect and honor those who have authority over them.

 

Ephesians 6:2-3 tells us, “Honor your father and mother” – which is the first commandment with a promise – “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”  Most children are not going to automatically learn to honor their parents and those in authority without our guidance.  We must be consistent and loving in our discipline because we know that this is what God wants for them.  Learning this will become a life skill that will go with them the rest of their lives.  If we can keep that in mind now when they are young, there is a higher probability that as adults they will have a positive influence on our world in the years to come.   And that will make these trying days oh so worth it!

^“No discipline is enjoyable while it is 

happening—it’s painful! 

But afterward there will be a peaceful 

harvest of right living 

for those who are trained in this way.”

Hebrews 12:11

Monday Morning Memo: Are You a Mistake?

Have you ever felt like you were a mistake?  Maybe you’ve never thought those exact words…but there have been times when you wondered why in the world the God of the universe thought the world needed YOU.

 

I think if we are truly honest, many of us have had times such as this.  Times when we compared ourselves to those around us and came to the conclusion that God must have been extremely tired the day He created us.  We read posts on social media from our friends and their lives are so much more exciting than ours.  They are getting promotions, going on trips and having meaningful, heart-warming conversations with their kids.  This is all while we are stuck in the same ho-hum job, never leaving our town, let alone our state or country and our goal is just to make sure our kids are still breathing when we turn the lights out each night.

 

I think when these negative thoughts creep into our minds we need to remember a few things. First of all, God honestly doesn’t care whether we are a brain surgeon or a street sweeper.   When we stand before Him someday, I really don’t think we will get more jewels in our crown because we had a more prestigious job than our neighbor.  God is going to care more about what we did with our job to reach others for Him.  Were we faithful wherever He placed us?  Were we the best employee in the company, always doing our share of the work, or were we known to be the slacker and complainer? 

  

Secondly, when we stand before God, I don’t think He will have a world globe in His hands to mark off where all we traveled in our lifetime.  Please don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there is anything wrong with taking trips and seeing the world, but if we are basing our happiness on whether we are able to do so, we are going to end up thinking less of ourselves.  God is going to be much more interested in what we did for Him whether we are at home or in an exotic location.  

 

Third, always try to remember that very few parents post on social media or bring up in conversation the difficult times with their children.   We tend to want to look good and have others think we are perfect parents who have it all together but, unfortunately, I’ve never met a perfect parent or a perfect child yet.   When we stand before God, He isn’t going to ask us why we weren’t flawless parents.  He is going to be much more concerned about what we instilled in the lives of our precious children.  Were we examples to them of true followers of Jesus, whose main goal was to serve Him wherever we were placed using whatever He had given us?  Or did they just see us push and shove our way up the corporate ladder to ensure we had plenty of money and “things” to keep up with those around us?

 

I think we need to remember that whenever we compare our weaknesses to someone else’s strengths, we are going to come up short.  We are all different and each of us has our own strong points and our own weak points.  It is up to us to decide on which we will focus. 

 

Amazingly, the same God who created mountains and oceans and galaxies looked at me and thought the world needed one of me too.  AND, He also thought the world needed one of you.  Oh, how that blows my mind!  You and I have never been, nor will we ever be, a mistake!  We were created for a reason to fulfill His purpose in this world.  We just need to decide if we are going to live in such a way that others will see God’s plan being fulfilled, or whether we are going to believe Satan’s lies that we are a mistake. 

 

YOU were created to be a child of the King.  Wow…it just doesn’t get any better than that!   

 

 “But to all who believed him and accepted him, 

he gave the right to become children of God.”

John 1:12

Monday Morning Memo: Worse...Poorer...Sickness

Today, Dan and I are celebrating 41 years of marriage.  On that special day, we recited the “repeat after me” statements that many of you probably quoted.  We promised “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part.”  While I believe we both sincerely meant those words and had every intention to fulfill each promise…we had no way of knowing how we would act and react in the situations that would test each of those pledges.  Oh, I think we both knew we would do fine as long as our life was filled with the “better…richer…health” promises…but I’m not sure either one of us could fully grasp how we would react if life dealt us the “worse…poorer…sickness”.

 

The Lord has richly blessed us over the years in so many ways.  There are no words to explain how much joy we have had with the gift of three amazing children…their awesome spouses…and seven beautiful, talented and gifted grandchildren.  I never dreamed the day we said our vows that God would give us the incredible opportunity to be parents and grandparents.

 

We owned a business which provided for our family when the economy was good and even when it was bad.  Yes, there were some “lean” times…but God was always faithful and trust me…we never missed any meals 😊

 

We have family and friends who mean the world to us and who have supported us…loved us…and also challenged us to be all that God wants us to be.  We can’t imagine doing life without them and we feel humbled that they have put up with us for many years.

 

Everything I have listed falls under the vows of “better and richer”…and they have made it relatively easy to continue to love each other in our marriage.  But, unfortunately, there was one more part to our vows and in our situation we had no idea that we would have to deal with “sickness” and not “health”.

 

Many of you already know my story…so I won’t bore you with details…but to say my body hasn’t cooperated with our day-to-day life…is an understatement.  It has tested our marriage and our family over and over again…as I have been “down for the count” many times and unable to do the simplest of tasks. When our kids were still living at home…they often had to help keep things running and even today…they can be found helping when needed.  

 

But through it all…Dan has been by my side.  I remember him telling me after we married that the word “divorce” would never be in our vocabulary…but I have wondered at times if he regretted making that declaration.  It hasn’t been easy for him and I’m sure there were times when heading for the hills was tempting…but instead he has remained steadfast.  He has known the vow he took on that beautiful October day was a promise, and he took that as a serious pledge of his love for me and for his Savior.

 

What is love?  That is an age-old question and more than likely there are many different responses.  But to me…love is not giving up when life throws you the “worse…poorer…sickness”.  Love doesn’t fade just because the grass on the other side of the fence looks greener…it stays and continues to water and “fertilize” the grass it has been given.  While giving up may seem easier at the moment…hunkering down and pledging to fulfill your vows will bring blessings way beyond what you can imagine.

 

To my groom of 41 years…I love you more than words can say.  Your tender love and care of me has humbled me so many times.  Thank you for staying faithful even when life hasn’t been fun and sickness has overshadowed health.  May the Lord bless you for your commitment to me and to our marriage and I’m praying for many more years together as we continue to keep our eyes focused on Him ❤️

 

^“ Love is patient and kind. 

Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. 

It does not demand its own way.

 It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 

It does not rejoice about injustice 

but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, 

and endures through every circumstance.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-7