Forty-two years. When I was a child that number seemed like a million years in the future. Now looking back as an adult…those years began just yesterday…didn’t they?
Forty-two years ago tomorrow, on October 3rd, 1981, I married the man whom God created for me. I had no idea what the days ahead of us would hold; all I knew was we had just committed to each other that we were in this for the long haul (sounds romantic, doesn’t it?!). Divorce was not going to be a word which would be thrown around as a threat…it wouldn’t even be in our vocabulary. I have been very thankful for that over these years…because trust me…most men would have given up on me a long time ago!
I’ve heard that some couples are changing their vows to say that they promise to be married for as long as they still love each other; or for as long as they are happy. To be married “until death do us part” has gone by the wayside and commitments are made to last as long as it is convenient. Bumps in the road soon become craters and it doesn’t take much for the husband and/or wife to be swallowed up and consumed with themselves and with what makes him or her happy.
We have become a society which wants the world to revolve around us; a society where “me” is much more important than “we” and where “we” is more important than “HE”. He, the Lord Jesus Christ, is not who we look to anymore to learn how to grow and develop our relationships because He tells us to die to self daily…and let’s face it…that doesn’t sound easy or fun.
This used to be more prevalent in non-Christians, but today there doesn’t seem to be much difference. Many professing believers opt to not even get married and just choose to live together…just in case they discover they aren’t compatible. Honestly, I am so saddened as I hear Christians talking or read Facebook statuses as some proclaim their allegiance to their God all while cohabitating with their significant other. Premarital sex is accepted as the “normal” thing to do anymore because we believe the old saying, “If it feels good do it”. Oh, we expect God to be there when we need Him…but only when it is convenient for us.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop with our marriages. Many of us are sitting in the pews on Sunday morning, lifting our praises to God, but choosing to live for ourselves the rest of the week. I think for some reason we have concluded that putting our time in on Sunday, gives us a “free pass” to worship “me” Monday through Saturday. I just can’t believe this is what the life of a fully devoted Christian should look like. Regrettably, we have become followers only when it is convenient. Our world is crumbling down around us as we stand by and watch…pointing fingers at everyone else because it surely isn’t any fault of ours…is it?
Change can only happen when I first make sure that the “me” which is seen on Sunday morning is the same “me” that is seen throughout the week. That means that in my marriage, in my relationships, in my job, in my daily walk…my “me” must be replaced with Christ. I have heard it said that whatever controls our mind…controls our life so I must first begin to replace my selfish thoughts with God’s thoughts. If the choices I make are centered on His Word and His desires for my life, I can’t help but believe that my marriage, my relationships, my job and my daily walk will be much stronger and will begin to mirror His image.
I’ll be honest. Following Christ isn’t always convenient. Following Christ isn’t always fun. Following Christ doesn’t always make us feel good. Sometimes it is downright hard and doesn’t give us an overwhelming feeling of happiness. But I don’t think Christ’s goal is to make us comfortable or even happy. His goal is to make us look more like Him and to do that we often have to sacrifice what we want…to give Him what He needs to accomplish this within us.
Forty-two years in my marriage and 63 years on this earth. In God’s timing, that isn’t even a fraction of a second. I have no idea where the next fraction of a second will take me. But my prayer is that during whatever time I am given, I will stop settling for the God of convenience and be willing to sacrifice whatever it takes so others will begin to see more of Him and less of me.
“And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you
to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you.
Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable.
This is truly the way to worship him.”
Romans 12:1
Congratulations on 42 years of marriage
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