Monday Morning Memo: He Understands

If you have been reading my ramblings for any length of time, you know that I tend to be rather transparent.  Sometimes I find that easy…and sometimes it is hard.   What I am sharing with you today has been rather difficult to put into words.

Many of you know that I have had countless health issues over the years…many of them stemming from a disorder I have which is a form of Ehlers Danlos.  It has caused numerous things to go haywire in my body and if I had a dollar for every time a doctor has said to me, “Well, this isn’t normal”…I would be a very wealthy woman.  As a result…I deal with a lot of pain and restrictions which often determine what I can and can’t do.

I can’t tell you how often I have prayed for God to heal me.  I’ve bartered with Him, begged Him, and even reminded Him that I could serve Him much more effectively if I had a miraculous story of healing to share with others.  I also can’t tell you the number of times others have laid hands on me, anointed me, and prayed for my healing.  Just recently, dear friends called one evening to see if I was home…and said they were on their way to pray for my current health “detour”.  They asked God to, once again, heal me completely.  I can’t tell you how humbling that was for me…to have them take time out of their busy schedules to approach God’s Throne on my behalf.

While all these experiences have blessed me tremendously, I have not been healed.  If I am honest, I don’t think I will be healed on this side of heaven.  Does that mean I don’t have enough faith for God to heal me?  No, I don’t think so.  I have felt God impressing on me recently that for some reason, I can better serve Him with my health issues…than without.  

I don’t tell you all of this today to sound “spiritual”…because even though I may be able to serve God more effectively with my limitations…I don’t always handle that truth well.  It is easy for me to become discouraged and feel like a burden to my husband, my family, and my friends.  My restrictions often cause them to have to do things for me or cause us to have to change plans because of my pain.  That isn’t what I want, so to accept the fact that my situation will probably only get worse and not better…doesn’t always make me display the joy of the Lord.

I’m also not sharing this today for you to feel sorry for me.  There are many people who are going through much worse circumstances than me…but that doesn’t negate my feelings nor should it for you either.  Just because someone else may have it worse than you…your feelings still matter and so I want you to know that I understand your struggle and care about your difficulties. 

But, how thankful I am to serve a Savior who also understands.  Even though I have times of discouragement…He doesn’t love me any less.  Even though I often take two steps forward and then one step backwards in my walk with Him…He never leaves my side.  And even though it isn’t my choice to deal with my limitations…I am confident that His plans for me are still much greater than anything I could ever imagine.  Philippians 1:6 tells me, “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”  Until God calls me home, He has a mighty work to do in me and I know that His desire is for me to allow Him to do whatever it takes, to make me look more like Him.  And trust me…He has His work cut out to accomplish that!

Are you facing things in your life which are out of your control?  Are you struggling with discouragement and maybe even feeling like a burden to those around you?  I understand…but more importantly…there is One who understands and in Him you can put your trust and faith.  God’s plan for you may not make much sense at this time…but it is perfect…and if it allows you to look more like Him, it will make it all worthwhile.