Monday, February 29, 2016

Monday Morning Memo: Imposing Our Way

In just a few short weeks, we will be welcoming another grandson into our family.  I think it is so exciting when the time remaining is finally just weeks instead of months!

Things will change in our daughter and son-in-law’s home.  Twenty-two-month old Elias will no longer be the center of attention.  The limelight will now have to be shared with this brand new wiggly, sometimes crying precious little one.  Up until now, he has only known this baby as being in his mommy’s tummy and now will have to adjust to his brother being visible and sometimes noisy and maybe at times annoying.

Of course things will change for Elias’ parents too.  While they already know that taking care of a young one who is nearing two is exhausting, they will now discover a new level of fatigue when they add a baby who will be entirely dependent on them.  Feedings throughout the night will return and lack of sleep will most likely become the norm for a time.  Not only will they be helping their new little one adjust to living in his new surroundings; they will have a two-year-old asking questions at every turn.

The word I think of when I think of what they all are facing is “change”.  Lots of changes are on their horizon and there is no way they can know or even understand those changes until they are in the middle of them.  They can be told over and over again by those who have been through it what it will be like, but until they experience it for themselves…it is almost impossible for them to understand.  They can read every book ever written about how to handle multiple children, but until they actually have two children in their home they can’t truly know what it will be like.

The reason is that no two children are alike and so what happens with someone else’s children may never happen to theirs.  They will more than likely discover that what works in someone else’s home as far as juggling their new schedule, may not work at all in their home.  They will have to experience it themselves and figure out what is the best for their family.  Instead of trying to measure up to what others tell them is the right way, they will just need to keep their focus on Christ each and every day and allow Him to lead them as they raise their family for Him.

The same is true in our Christian family too.  No two of us are the same and so what happens in my life…may not ever happen in your life.  What works for me in my walk with Christ, may not work at all for you.  Likewise (and this may make some of you squirm), what Christ convicts me of that needs changing in my life, may not be something of which He convicts you…and vice versa.  Each of us are at a different stage in our Christian walk and as a result, He will mold us and shape us to look more like Him at the time that is perfect for us individually.

Unless we have walked in the shoes of others…there is a good chance that we can’t understand exactly what they are going through.  We can sympathize, console and pray for them and even share with them what has helped us.  But at some point, they will need to face their own changes and learn to rely on Christ’s leading in their particular situation.

I wonder how many people we have hurt or scared away from walking with Christ because we imposed our way of doing things on them.  Instead of pointing them towards Christ and loving them through their journey, we’ve demanded that they do it our way, when our way may not be what is best for them.  Unfortunately, our way isn’t always Christ’s way and imposing our thoughts on them can do more harm than good.  It is so important that anything we share is based on Biblical principles as we come alongside those who need to know that we care.  I think that so often, others will be helped much more if they can see Christ in us on a daily basis.  How we act and react will speak much louder than what actually comes out of our mouth.

Just as it is not my responsibility to demand that my daughter’s family do things exactly like I would, it is not my responsibility to do the convicting in other people’s lives.  Again, I can share Biblical principles, sympathize, console and pray with those I come in contact with, but it is Christ’s responsibility to do the convicting.  My job is to be willing to walk with those who are hurting, loving them where they are today and making sure that it is evident that Christ lives in me.  I am confident that if we do this as we focus on pointing others towards Christ, our actions will speak much louder than our words.

“So why do you condemn another believer?
Why do you look down on another believer?
Remember, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God.  
For the Scriptures say,
‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bend to me,
    and every tongue will declare allegiance to God.’
Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God.
So let’s stop condemning each other.
Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not
 cause another believer to stumble and fall.”

Romans 14:10-13

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