We have many, many VHS tapes that we have recorded over the
years. Christmases, birthdays, family
gatherings and even a pretzel-making day were captured on videos to remind us
of those memory making days as our children were being raised.
A couple of weeks ago, my husband decided to take on the huge
project of transferring all of those tapes onto our computer. Knowing that VHS tapes can sometimes break as
they age, he wants to make sure that their contents are preserved for many
years to come. There is no way to
recreate all of those priceless moments of our past, so even though it is
taking him hours to transfer them, it will be well worth it in the years to
come.
He has all of his equipment set up in my library, so it has been
fun to check out my computer screen when I’ve entered that room, to see which
tape he is currently transferring. Seeing
and hearing our children when they were young just warms my heart. I know those were exhausting days that
sometimes felt like they would never end…but just as I was warned then by older
more experienced moms…it now seems like I blinked and they were all grown up.
One thing that has struck me in these tapes is that many of the
scenes could have been used in a “Leave it to Beaver” episode. Most of the people being videoed are on their
best behavior, knowing that the tape was rolling. From what I have watched so far, not once did
I tell my husband, “Quick…get the video camera and film me while I lose my
temper with the kids.” The reason is
that I don’t want to remember those times that I failed as a mom, a wife, a
sister or a daughter. And I surely don’t
want those times on tape for everyone else to see over and over.
But then, I don’t need a recording to remind me of my past
failures. Many of them are permanently
cemented in my brain and it often doesn’t take much to bring them into my
thoughts. Oftentimes those memories
creep back in when I’m getting ready to do something positive that the Lord is
leading me to do. All of a sudden…WHAM…my
mind goes back in time and those past shortcomings make me question whether I
am capable or worthy to do His work.
Even those instances where I have known I did wrong and asked the Lord
to forgive me, still come back to cause an unsettled spirit as I struggle to
forgive myself.
Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m alone in this. I have talked to many others that can relate
to this scenario. Many of us have times
where we dwell on the past and in doing so, we become stagnant in our
relationship with Christ and we fail to move forward. Satan knows that as long as he can keep us
reliving our failures over and over, he doesn’t have to worry about us doing
the Lord’s will today.
There are also times where it isn’t our past shortcomings that
we dwell on…but someone else’s. I’m
confident that all of us have, at some point in our life, been deeply hurt by a
friend, a family member or even a stranger…and forgiving that person seems
impossible. As a result, we can easily
dwell on the pain from that moment and it causes us to feel like we are on a
stationary bike…exerting a lot of emotion but not going anywhere.
If we neglect to deal with our past, it can often make us fear
the future and we can be overwhelmed with the “what-ifs”. What if
we say or do the wrong thing and let someone else down? What if
we take a chance and reach out to someone and that person hurts us in return? What if
we step way out of our comfort zone and fall flat on our face and we feel like
a total failure?
It is at these moments of our life that we need to remember that
there is nothing from our past that the Lord cannot forgive or can stop Him
from loving us. Nor is there any pain
from our past that He cannot heal. AND,
there is nothing in our future that He cannot handle.
If you feel you are in a “holding pattern” right now in your
life…I urge you to think about this: If
someone watches a video ten years from now of your day today…what do you want
them to see? Do you want them to see you
scared, discouraged and overwhelmed with your past…or do you want them to see
you living a life that is prayer-driven and God directed? Living a life that is fueled with His Spirit
is a life that will have an impact on others for many years to come. Who knows…your choices today just might lead
to the most exciting days of your life because life is never boring when HE is
in control!
“I
prayed to the LORD, and he answered me.
He freed me from all my fears.”
Psalm 34:4
“I, even I, am the one who wipes out your
transgressions for My own sake,
And I will not remember your sins.”
Isaiah 43:25
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