Monday Morning Memo: Behind The Door

This week I’m sharing with you another devotional from my first book, Image Seeker, in which I wrote about a “moment” of time from when we were raising our children.  This particular story involves a young, blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy who did something that ended up making me ponder my own actions a little more in depth.  

Kids have a way of doing that, because I think sometimes, they are a mirror into our soul.  We see their child-like behaviors and if we are honest, we can at times mimic their actions in an adult way which has much more serious consequences.  At least this is what our son showed me…many years ago.

Just like last week, I’ve included questions at the end to ponder this coming week.  I hope you enjoy!

“Don’t keep looking at my sins.  Remove the stain of my guilt. Create in me a clean heart, O God.  Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and make me willing to obey you” (Psalm 51:9-12). 

Hidden Behind the Door

We remodeled our home when our son Adam was four years old.  Walls were coming down, rooms were being destroyed and our young son was in seventh heaven.  He would get up each morning, strap on his own tool belt and follow the contractors around throughout the day.  Nothing made him happier then when one of them would ask him to help with part of the project.  I’ll never forget the day that they asked him to help tear out a wall.  They gave him a hammer to use and told him to pound away with all of his might.  He was exuberant, watching pieces of drywall fall to the ground as he flailed away with his tool.

The problem was that we never told Adam that this was the only wall he was allowed to destroy.  In his young mind, if it was okay to take down one wall, it must be okay to take down another, and several days later, we discovered several holes in the wall in the hallway.  It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out who had done this destruction so we immediately found our young contractor to have a talk with him. Once we explained to him that there were only certain walls that would need his expertise in destruction, he promised us that he would never remodel on his own again!

You can imagine then how upset we were when a couple days later we discovered, to our horror, another hole in a wall. This time it wasn’t in the hallway where it could easily be seen, but we found it behind Adam’s door in his bedroom.  I’m sure our blood pressure had an immediate spike and probably smoke could be seen coming out of our ears as we called out for “Adam Daniel” to come immediately (our kids always knew if their middle name was included, they better not walk to where we were – they better run)!  We just couldn’t believe that he could disobey us so blatantly.  But our anger slowly dissolved, when he looked at us with his big blue eyes and said, “I made that hole before I made the ones in the hall!”   

As I reflect on this episode in our family, I wonder, since the first hole that Adam made was behind the door, if he really did know he wasn’t supposed to redecorate his wall with a hammer.  I have imagined what might have been going on is his young mind.  Maybe he made the first hole in a place where it wouldn’t be seen so easily and when he got away with that one, became bolder and thought he would see what happened if his artwork was more visible. 

I also wonder if that scenario comes to my mind because of the times I have done just what Adam did.  I’ve had times when I was tempted to do something that I knew was wrong, and I’ve given in to that temptation just enough to see if there were any consequences.  I lose my temper with my kids, snap at my husband, or gossip on the phone with a friend, but because it is behind the door of my home, I feel somewhat justified in my actions.  But the more times that I let this happen, the easier it is for me to behave this way outside the confines of my home.   At that point, I’m not only hurting those in my family, but I then cause destruction with those with whom I come in contact outside my home.  Unfortunately, it’s those hidden actions that often lead to more serious transgressions that end with even more sobering consequences.  I need to remember that when any of my actions don’t line up with God’s Word, it doesn’t matter whether anyone else finds out or not - my behavior can never be justified.

Adam is now grown and his interests have turned from construction work to business finance.  When we look back at pictures of those times, I sometimes yearn for those innocent days.  I’m so proud that he is my son and I love him for who he was back then and for who he is today.  And fortunately, it’s the same way with my Father in heaven.  He has loved me throughout my past and continues to love me now even during the times that I try to hide my actions “behind the door”.  I am still “under construction” as my Father in heaven continues to chip away those things in me that are not pleasing to Him.  It’s the knowledge that He loves me that much that makes me want to keep my actions and thoughts pure and be the child that He deserves.   

Image Seeker Prayer – “Father, forgive me for the times in my life when my actions aren’t ones that should be on display for others to see.  Keep me mindful that how I act and react affects others and should never have to be hidden ‘behind the door’!”

  

Questions to ponder this week:  

Is there anything in your life that you are doing “behind your door” that you don’t want others to see?  

If so, what is keeping you from turning it over to Christ?

Monday Morning Memo: Loosening Our Grip

This week I’m sharing with you another devotional from my first book, Image Seeker, in which I wrote about a “moment” of time from when we were raising our children.  I remember thinking the hardest days were when they were all young…but little did I know that as they grew older…God might ask more of them than I was willing to share.  

The details of this story pertain to our second daughter, where God led her to go for a year and how it sure kept me on my knees while she was gone.  His plan is not always what we would select for our children…but through it we are taught that His ways are perfect and that sometimes, we have to be willing to loosen our grip for His glory.  

Just like last week, I’ve included questions at the end to ponder this coming week.  I hope you enjoy!

“I take joy in doing your will, my God, for your instructions are written on my heart” (Psalm 40:8).

Letting Go

Through most of our middle child’s high school days, she thought she would someday work in the field of music.  Megan is a pianist, self-taught guitarist, and shares her love of the Lord vocally.  It was just always a given that this was the field that she would explore.

But as Megan entered her senior year, her spirit became troubled.  She felt the Lord was telling her that music was not to be her vocation; yet she didn’t sense a strong leading into any other area.  She had a passion for missions and wondered if that was where the Lord was leading her.  Her youth pastor at the time knew of her struggle and invited her to go to a program at our local university where members of a group called “Mission Year” would be sharing.  Megan came home that day pumped and ready to send in her application.

Unfortunately, I didn’t share her excitement.  If she was accepted into this ministry, she would be living in the inner city of Atlanta, walking the streets by herself on a daily basis.  The thought of sending my beautiful 18-year-old daughter into those dangerous surroundings for a year wasn’t what I envisioned for her, and I began to argue with the Lord.  I wanted Him to understand that this was asking too much of her and of me to have her live and work in these precarious surroundings.

As I was struggling with all of this my husband, in his infinite wisdom, asked me to remember what we had done with each of our children after they were born.  He wanted me to think back to the times we stood in front of our church and dedicated each precious baby to the Lord.  We vowed to raise them in a Christian home, nurturing them and doing our best to prepare them to serve the Lord.   Dan asked me if we had put the stipulation in our vow that we would raise our children for the Lord as long as they stayed in our area where it was safe.  Of course we hadn’t; we had promised the Lord that we were dedicating them for His service wherever that may be.  

I began to loosen my grip and allowed Megan to serve where the Lord was calling her to go. That didn’t mean it was an easy year for any of us.  To complete her volunteer and ministry tasks, Megan walked the inner-city streets during the day, many times walking alone to and from houses in her community.  She was often in dangerous situations, being mistaken on several occasions as a prostitute, for, as she puts it, “drug dealers and prostitutes were the ones populating the streets during the day”.  She was yelled at, followed, and propositioned; but the Lord was so faithful.  In every situation, He protected her and got her to safety before she could be harmed.

The Lord not only protected her during that year, but He also blessed her abundantly for her faithfulness.  She had the privilege of forming relationships with many of her neighbors as she shared God’s love with them.  She developed courage that amazed me as she learned to put her complete trust in her Savior.  She learned the importance of being “Jesus with skin on” to many people that had never met her Lord.  And she truly learned that wherever God places you, He promises to be faithful and supply all of your needs! 

What are you holding onto that you need to loosen your grip?  Are you struggling with letting your children go or allowing yourself to follow His leading?  Remember that as Christians, everything we have is the Lord’s to use as He desires; we are just the caregivers.  What a privilege that is, and it is only when we surrender everything to the Lord and allow Him to have complete control that we can become more like Him! 

Image Seeker Prayer – “Father, thank You so much for allowing us to be a part of your plan.  Help us to loosen our grip on the persons or things that are keeping us from surrendering to your will, and then please hold our hand as we trust You even if we are called to unknown territory!”

Questions to ponder this week:  

Why do we desire to be in control of every aspect of our life?

What are you holding onto and not allowing the Lord complete control?  Is it your finances?  Your children?  Your marriage?  Your job?  Whatever it is, loosen your grip and give Him full reign so that you can become more like Him.

Monday Morning Memo: No Need to Fear!

As I’m sure you know, yesterday was Mother’s Day and it made me do some reminiscing.  It started after I shared with you last week about our “superman” son, because I received a lot of feedback from that post…parents who are stressed to the max these days and wondering if they and their children will survive.

As a result, I feel led to spend the next three weeks, sharing with you three devotionals from my first book, Image Seeker, in which I wrote about moments with our children as they were growing up.  Moments of time that not only had a part in shaping them, but shaping and teaching me as their mom.  At the end of each devotional, I’ll include a couple of questions to ponder this coming week.  I hope you enjoy!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11).

First Day of School

1989.  I remember the year just like it was yesterday.  Our first-born child was heading off to kindergarten and excitement was in the air. I was asked often by friends how I was handling this first milestone in the life of our daughter, and I would always reply that we were all ready.  Erica was a very bright child who carried on wonderful conversations with adults at the age of two, so by five she was ready for the challenge - or so we thought!

                                                                                 

The first day of school arrived and the movie camera was rolling.  A day like this just had to be recorded so that we could relive the happy memories for years to come.  My husband got into position to capture the moment on film as I walked Erica out to meet the big yellow school bus. As we neared the road, her precious little hand squeezed mine with all her might.  I looked down, and her beautiful big eyes told the whole story - the reality of leaving home to enter the big world without her mom and dad was taking its toll.

We approached the bus door and I gave a big smile and wave to the bus driver.  I told Erica goodbye and helped her onto the bus so she could begin her years of education.  Unfortunately, Erica had different plans.  As I backed away from the bus, she jumped back off and ran to me, falling into my arms, crying uncontrollably.  I’m not sure whose heart was hurting worse at that time – hers or mine – but I knew what I had to do.  Once again, I put her back on the bus and yes, once again, off she came.  At that point, fighting back tears myself, I had to enlist the help of the bus driver.  I placed Erica on the bus for the third time and the driver held onto her as she closed the door and drove off.

As hard as it was, I knew that day that I had to make Erica face the unknown.  It would have been so much easier on me to let her stay home under my watchful eye.  But I knew that what seemed easier for me on that day, wouldn’t be the best thing for Erica’s future.  Part of starting school was learning that just like a turtle, we will never make it very far in life unless we learn to stick out our necks!

As I think back to that day, I realize how often I react to the unknown just like Erica did those many years ago.  God wants me to step out of my comfort zone to grow and become more like Him, but I often “jump back off the bus”, running for protection in His arms.  I fail to remember that He knows what is best for me and keeps making me face the unsettling circumstances for my own good. 

We read in Zechariah 13:9, “I will bring that group through the fire and make them pure. I will refine them like silver and purify them like gold. They will call on my name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘These are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God.’”  The refining process isn’t always easy, but the final product is worth the heat!

Erica began that refining process many years ago as she had to face that first day of kindergarten.  That infamous day was just the beginning of many situations throughout her life that would mold her and shape her into the wonderful young woman that she is today!  I’m praying that I will learn from her example of what God can do in my life if I just “stay on the bus”!

Image Seeker Prayer – “Father, why am I often so fearful of the unknown, wanting to stay in your arms instead of stepping out of my comfort zone?  Help me to realize that even when You want me to ‘stick out my neck’, You will never let go of my hand!” 

  

Questions to ponder this week:  

Is there any situation in your life that is currently causing you to be fearful?  If so, what is keeping you from giving it to the Lord?

What is Christ asking you to do today that will require “sticking out your neck” for Him?  Why not tell Him YES and watch Him work in mighty ways through you!

Monday Morning Memo: "Fun" Times

I was going through a closet this past weekend and came across it once again.  Every time I see it…I wonder why I’m still holding on to it.  But I just can’t discard something that makes me smile.  Just looking at it…takes me back to when a young, blonde haired, blue eyed little boy used to wear it.

"I'm Superman!"

This picture that I am sharing with you today…won’t mean much to anyone else.  To others, it looks like a wrinkled t-shirt and an old towel that, of course, is being held onto the shirt with two yellow diaper pins.  But what looks like something that should be discarded…is actually something very priceless to me.  This, my friends, is a put-together-by-mom Superman cape that our young son wore many times as he “flew” through the house yelling, “I’m Superman!” at the top of his lungs!  

That curious, rambunctious little boy is now a grown man who is married and has two blonde haired, blue eyed little girls of his own.  He is now learning the world of princesses, Minnie Mouse and tea parties.  I’m doubtful that he has very many occasions to don a cape…but I’m guessing those two precious girls still think he is Superman 

Oh, how I love reminiscing about those fun days many years ago, when we were raising our two daughters and one son.   They were (and still are!) such precious gifts from God and I have thanked Him over and over again for allowing us to be their parents.

I find it interesting though, that when I look back at those days…I use the word “fun” to describe the life we had.  If I’m honest…I’m rather doubtful that I would have used that word at the end of every day when I was in the middle of diapers, braces and mounds of laundry.  Parenting was hard…really hard…and there were many days when the highlight of my day was seeing them fast asleep at night so I could have some peace and quiet.  I remember how I hated to go to bed some nights because I knew when I woke up in the morning, I would have to do it all over again.  It was exhausting.  There were days when I probably resorted to counting the seconds until naptime and then bedtime and just hoped they and I would be alive at the end of the day.

We made many mistakes as parents and I often wish we could go back to do things differently, but of course, that is impossible.  But even with all of our faults and failures…all three have grown to be productive, Jesus-serving adults and we are so proud of them.

Why am I sharing about this today?  Well, parents of young children have been on my mind so much during this time of quarantine.  I just can’t imagine how exhausted many of you have to be, trying to be not only your kids’ parent…but now their teacher and lunch lady/man too… all while possibly trying to do your job from home.  I’m confident that your days are long, tiring and seem to have 36 hours instead of 24.  I know that it is easy to become overwhelmed when you are being pulled in so many different directions.  

And, if you are anything like me…I’m guessing some of you may be struggling with some guilt…feeling like you aren’t doing everything that you should be doing.  I want to encourage you.  I want you to know that you WILL get through this time and your children WILL be ok…even if you fall short at times.  God gave you those kids because He knew you could handle them during this season of life with His help…and He is always so gracious to step in and cover our children with His love during those times when we don’t feel like parent of the year.

Believe it or not…the day may come when you will look back on this time and use the word “fun” to describe moments you remember from the pandemic. God has a way of fading some of the bad times from our memory…so that He can bring to mind the blessings from our journey.  God doesn’t expect you to be a perfect parent…He just wants you to be a devoted follower of His and He will so willingly guide you in all other areas. 

I neatly folded up the Superman cape and put it back on the shelf where it has now been for 25 years.  The next time I clean out that closet, I’m sure I will unfold it and smile as I once again, “see” our young son running through the house…desiring to save the world.   Do I long to return to those days of raising three young children?  Probably not.  Because I have now discovered that grandchildren are so much more fun and much easier to spoil and then send home 

“Children are a gift from the Lord;

They are a reward from him.”

Psalm 127:3