This week I’m sharing with you another devotional from my first book, Image Seeker, in which I wrote about a “moment” of time from when we were raising our children. This particular story involves a young, blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy who did something that ended up making me ponder my own actions a little more in depth.
Kids have a way of doing that, because I think sometimes, they are a mirror into our soul. We see their child-like behaviors and if we are honest, we can at times mimic their actions in an adult way which has much more serious consequences. At least this is what our son showed me…many years ago.
Just like last week, I’ve included questions at the end to ponder this coming week. I hope you enjoy!
“Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and make me willing to obey you” (Psalm 51:9-12).
Hidden Behind the Door
We remodeled our home when our son Adam was four years old. Walls were coming down, rooms were being destroyed and our young son was in seventh heaven. He would get up each morning, strap on his own tool belt and follow the contractors around throughout the day. Nothing made him happier then when one of them would ask him to help with part of the project. I’ll never forget the day that they asked him to help tear out a wall. They gave him a hammer to use and told him to pound away with all of his might. He was exuberant, watching pieces of drywall fall to the ground as he flailed away with his tool.
The problem was that we never told Adam that this was the only wall he was allowed to destroy. In his young mind, if it was okay to take down one wall, it must be okay to take down another, and several days later, we discovered several holes in the wall in the hallway. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out who had done this destruction so we immediately found our young contractor to have a talk with him. Once we explained to him that there were only certain walls that would need his expertise in destruction, he promised us that he would never remodel on his own again!
You can imagine then how upset we were when a couple days later we discovered, to our horror, another hole in a wall. This time it wasn’t in the hallway where it could easily be seen, but we found it behind Adam’s door in his bedroom. I’m sure our blood pressure had an immediate spike and probably smoke could be seen coming out of our ears as we called out for “Adam Daniel” to come immediately (our kids always knew if their middle name was included, they better not walk to where we were – they better run)! We just couldn’t believe that he could disobey us so blatantly. But our anger slowly dissolved, when he looked at us with his big blue eyes and said, “I made that hole before I made the ones in the hall!”
As I reflect on this episode in our family, I wonder, since the first hole that Adam made was behind the door, if he really did know he wasn’t supposed to redecorate his wall with a hammer. I have imagined what might have been going on is his young mind. Maybe he made the first hole in a place where it wouldn’t be seen so easily and when he got away with that one, became bolder and thought he would see what happened if his artwork was more visible.
I also wonder if that scenario comes to my mind because of the times I have done just what Adam did. I’ve had times when I was tempted to do something that I knew was wrong, and I’ve given in to that temptation just enough to see if there were any consequences. I lose my temper with my kids, snap at my husband, or gossip on the phone with a friend, but because it is behind the door of my home, I feel somewhat justified in my actions. But the more times that I let this happen, the easier it is for me to behave this way outside the confines of my home. At that point, I’m not only hurting those in my family, but I then cause destruction with those with whom I come in contact outside my home. Unfortunately, it’s those hidden actions that often lead to more serious transgressions that end with even more sobering consequences. I need to remember that when any of my actions don’t line up with God’s Word, it doesn’t matter whether anyone else finds out or not - my behavior can never be justified.
Adam is now grown and his interests have turned from construction work to business finance. When we look back at pictures of those times, I sometimes yearn for those innocent days. I’m so proud that he is my son and I love him for who he was back then and for who he is today. And fortunately, it’s the same way with my Father in heaven. He has loved me throughout my past and continues to love me now even during the times that I try to hide my actions “behind the door”. I am still “under construction” as my Father in heaven continues to chip away those things in me that are not pleasing to Him. It’s the knowledge that He loves me that much that makes me want to keep my actions and thoughts pure and be the child that He deserves.
Image Seeker Prayer – “Father, forgive me for the times in my life when my actions aren’t ones that should be on display for others to see. Keep me mindful that how I act and react affects others and should never have to be hidden ‘behind the door’!”
Questions to ponder this week:
Is there anything in your life that you are doing “behind your door” that you don’t want others to see?
If so, what is keeping you from turning it over to Christ?
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