Monday, December 20, 2021

Monday Morning Memo: Miracle Moments II


Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible” (Matthew 19:26).

 

For you to better understand my “miracle moment”, it is necessary for me to give you some background.   My mother had been ill for a very long time before I stood by her bedside on that day in 2009.  Ten years prior she had begun to show signs of dementia.  We noticed her nerves being on edge and her thought processes were not clear.   She would become agitated easily which was not at all her normal personality.

My mom had always been a very sharp, talented person.  She was very detail-orientated and could accomplish tasks that often baffled others.  The last job she had was being the final proofer for magazines and would often find errors that the previous proofers had missed.

She was also a minister’s wife and she carried out that “position” beautifully.  I doubt you could find any person to say a negative thing about my mom in all the churches in which she and my dad served.  She displayed grace, poise and a servant’s heart that impacted many throughout the years.

Mom also had a great impact on me, along with my older brother and sister.  No matter what we did, whether she approved or not, her love for us never faltered.  Her steadfast faith in her Savior was such an example to us as to how a walk with Him should look.  She taught us that if a job was worth doing, it was worth doing well.  She used to always share with us the words, "Once a task has begun, never leave it till it's done. Whether it be great or small, do it well or not at all."

To see this amazing woman begin to falter mentally and emotionally was very difficult.  It was a very slow process with her.  I often felt like I lost her one inch at a time over the years.

The day came when we had to move her into nursing care at the retirement center where my parents were living.  We would visit her weekly and never knew what to expect when we entered her room.  There were times she was coherent and we could enjoy our time together.  There were other days when her emotional and mental state made it very difficult to converse.  She was often agitated and upset over something which had occurred that day and nothing we would say would make a difference.  It was those days when I would leave her room with such a heavy heart; frustrated that I had been unable to calm her spirit.

But nothing prepared me for the day when I entered her room and it was obvious she didn’t have a clue who I was.  The blank expression on her face, with no hint of recognition, was something I had never seen before.  I remember sitting down beside her and trying to carry on a conversation, only to have her interrupt me and ask me who I was and why I was there.  I explained to her that I was her daughter but her only answer was “Oh”.

I walked out of the facility with tears running down my face, with the realization that the mother whom I loved so dearly for so many years didn’t know me.  The mother who had stood beside me through thick and thin, who often told me how much she loved me and how proud she was of me, was now lost in a world I couldn’t understand and couldn’t enter.  

Honestly, visiting her was more difficult after that experience.  Not because I loved her any less, but because the pain of losing the mom I knew was so great.   I learned over time that I could still visit with her, but that our relationship had been changed to being acquaintances instead of family.  I celebrated on the days when she seemed to know who I was and fought tears on the days when she didn’t.

Life isn’t always wrapped up with a pretty bow, is it?  Sometimes we are thrown into what seems like a deep abyss and there is darkness all around us.  It’s often at those times though, when God decides to bless us with one of His “miracle moments”.  But as I shared last week, if we are too busy with our day-to-day activities to notice His hand at work in our lives, we just might miss it.  Today might be the day, so make sure you are paying attention!

My Jesus Prayer

Jesus, sometimes life’s circumstances cause such 

deep pain that can’t even be explained.  

Please hold me Jesus during those times, 

but help me to be watching for those moments 

when You display Your power in a mighty way!

No comments:

Post a Comment