As many of you know, the season we are currently experiencing…is not my favorite. I live in Indiana, so I know that more than likely winter will be long, cold and snowy and I like none of those things. So, while I try really hard to not complain…I often fail and I find myself whining and complaining not just to anyone that will listen…but even griping to my Jesus.
I mean, for pete’s sake…He was the one that turned the water into wine. He is the one who raised Lazarus from the dead. He is the one who separated the Red Sea so that the Israelites could cross on dry ground. Surely, if He could do all those things and more…He could make the weather be more to my liking this time of year. They are calling for our highs for this week to be in the negative numbers…surely this is an oversight on the Lord’s part!
We can laugh at that…but if I’m honest…I expect my Jesus to do all kinds of things to make my life more comfortable. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like being uncomfortable. I don’t like any form of suffering. I don’t like it when I have to do things that push me way out of my comfort zone and so it is easy for me to find myself telling Jesus what He needs to do to make me feel better.
This past week, during one of my grumbling sessions, I came across a devotional I wrote four years ago. Obviously, Jesus was dealing with me on this issue then too and what a wakeup call to realize that all this time later, I’m still in the learning process. This is what I wrote then:
Do you know that moment when you read something and you feel like God put the words there just for you? It’s not so bad when what you are reading gives you a warm fuzzy feeling; but it isn’t near as much fun when the words slap you right between the eyes.
This is what happened to me this past week. The words? A quote from Corrie Ten Boom: “Don’t bother to give God instructions; just report for duty.” Oh man…did I have to read that? Why couldn’t I have read the verse, “Thou shalt not steal”? I don’t ever struggle with wanting to steal. Or why couldn’t God have impressed on me the saying, “Stressed spelled backwards is desserts”? Now THERE is something to make me feel good and celebrate!
No, He led me to read something that made me squirm, because if I reflect on some of my recent prayers, they have sounded more like a to-do list for God, instead of seeking His direction. Why do I do that? Why is it so easy to fall into the trap of telling Him what I think He should do?
I know He wants me to pour out my heart to Him. I know He loves to hear my desires and my dreams; but the problem arises when I am more concerned with what I want than what He wants. When my today and my tomorrow is spent instructing Him to do what would make me happy…there is a problem. The reason is that what I think will make me happy, may not be good for me at all. What I think should happen in the lives of my loved ones, may not be beneficial to them in the long run. He can see my tomorrows and the tomorrows of my family and friends and so it is in Him that I need to put my faith and trust.
As I have reflected on some of my recent conversations with God, I have realized that many of my sentences began with, “Lord, please do…..”, or “Lord, I need you to…” or “Father, they need you to…” I’m beginning to think that maybe my prayer time might be more productive if more of my sentences consisted of, “Lord, open my mind to what you have to say”, and “Father, work your way and Your will in my life and in the lives of my family”. In doing this, I am giving Him free reign to do with me what He sees best.
Scary? You bet it is; especially for a control freak like me. But I can’t think of anyone in this world that I would rather trust with my today and my tomorrow than the One who created me. So my plan this week is to enter into His presence, bow down at His throne and just say the words, “Father, I’m reporting for duty. Lead me where you want me to go.”
So here I am…four years later…still needing to be reminded that I should be willing to report for duty no matter where I am or regardless of the temperatures outside. “Lord help me…chattering teeth and all…to trust you enough to go and do whatever you ask of me, instead of sharing my to-do list with you today.”
“Lead me by your truth and teach me,
for you are the God who saves me.
All day long I put my hope in you.”
Psalm 25:5 (NLT)
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